Total pages in book: 51
Estimated words: 47222 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 236(@200wpm)___ 189(@250wpm)___ 157(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47222 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 236(@200wpm)___ 189(@250wpm)___ 157(@300wpm)
I honestly can’t recall most of the trip here, I remember grimly. Sighing, I get up and pour myself some coffee, taking a moment to inhale its rich aroma. Sitting here safely in the small room, I shudder as I think back to that first night. I had been scared and heartbroken, still confused from the Ranger’s betrayal. The night had been as black as pitch and I had been in no condition to wander far. When I knocked on the motel door, I was dazed and confused, which can be very dangerous for a woman traveling alone.
But my timid knock was greeted by a tiny older woman wearing a red cardigan and cowboy boots. I got a room for the evening, wanting only to rest and see what the next day would bring.
And here we are: six months later.
It’s not exactly a sad thought, but rather a factual one. Six months ago, I had had no idea where I would go or what I would do, but now I have a roof over my head and a routine to help keep my focus off my horrific past.
I stride to the window and pull open the curtains as the motel room floods with morning light. It’s a meager space, clean but plain. The sheets are stiff with too much starch and the carpet has faded to an ugly brown. The laminate kitchen counters are yellowing with age, but fortunately stainless and tidy. The vase on the table is filled with wildflowers and now with sunlight pouring through the windows, the whole space is a little bit happier.
It’s surprisingly cozy, I acknowledge for the hundredth time. Hard to make a motel room cozy, but that’s Mathilda for you. I smile as I think about the older woman who greeted me that first day. I was so scared, I chuckle. Anything would have made me go into hiding. But the older woman took me in that first night, and when she saw I was down on my luck, she offered me a job the next day. Since then, I’ve been working for Mathilda at the Starshine Motel, and it’s not bad. It’s manual labor, which helps take my mind off the sorry state of my life, and I get free room and board, although the pay is meager. I don’t mind though. I just need a while to collect myself.
But right, work. I hoist myself to my feet to get ready for the day ahead. Today, I’ll be playing cook. My jobs at the Starshine Motel change daily, but I’m not complaining. The little place does surprisingly well despite its location, and Mathilda always finds something for me to do. Some days I’m a waitress, others I run the front desk if she has an errand to tend to. Usually I’m cooking or cleaning, though, which is fine. I’m used to being on my feet, and for a farm girl, this kind of manual labor is nothing.
I pull a generic t-shirt over my head and tie my usual flannel around my waist. Then, I look down at my belly and frown.
Getting a bit harder to hide the bump, huh little baby?
I cross to the mirror and look at my growing stomach. It’ll be six months next week.
Tears come to my eyes as I caress my abdomen and imagine the tiny life growing inside of me. I’m starting to show and it’s making the whole pregnancy situation much more real. I also haven’t told Mathilda yet. I don’t know that she’d kick me out, but I don’t want to risk being homeless when the little one comes.
Mathilda would never make me leave, I acknowledge with a shake of my head. She cares about you, Darcy. But with my baby growing bigger each day, I know that I can’t keep up with this job. The hours on my feet are already taking a toll on my body, and my back aches, along with a constant crick in my neck.
I sit down on the bed, already feeling tired despite the early hour. “It’s hard to do this alone, little one,” I say to my belly. “And sometimes I’m scared. But mostly I’m happy. Happy I’ll get to meet you so soon.”
That’s about the sum of it, this mixture of terror and joy and uncertainty.
I blink away the tears, thinking back to the man who gave me this baby. When I first realized I was pregnant – the smell of burned bacon making me want to vomit had been the first indication that something was strange – I was alarmed and scared. Ranger was out of my life and I had nothing to my name. I was in a strange town, and didn’t know a soul.
But my fear quickly turned to excitement, mingled with a tinge of sorrow. This baby was made out of love, with my husband, before I knew of Ranger’s betrayal and before I knew so much heartbreak.