Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
But I also know that life still awaits you. And I want you to embrace it. I want, with all my heart, for you to take on the future with as much love as you showed me. Take Ida under your wing and LIVE. Live for us all.
You are so smart, Savannah. All my life I have been in awe of just how clever you are. How you view the world with a quiet intensity. How you miss nothing, studying the whole world around you. But the best is how much you love those you allow into your heart.
I adore my family. I love my Rune with everything I am. Yet the way you loved me and Ida … Lord, it is one of the best memories I will take with me. And I know that even in heaven, I will still feel that love transcending through the clouds. Not even death could take you away from me. I want you to know that.
I know because of my illness you have doubted the world. I know you struggle with my fate and feel it’s unfair. But I’ve never felt that way. Plenty of bad things happen to good people. But I believe that a better place awaits us. That my passing, for us as sisters, will only be a temporary thing. A few minutes in the vastness that is eternity. And that before we know it, I will have you back in my arms and in my heart, where you always have been.
But for you, that is a way off. And what plagues me most, as I write this to you, is that I fear you will stop living. You may be quiet, and observe in silence, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t FEEL on an unprecedented scale.
And Savannah, I cannot bear the thought that my passing has hurt you. I fear you will let it limit you, and that is not what I want for you. I want you to live. I want you to thrive, and I want you to change the world with how smart you are, how lovely you are. So, I decided to write this journal to you. I know I’ll be watching over you. I could never stay away from you too long. And even though I’m not standing there before you, I want to help you move on.
I need you to know that I am good, Savannah. I am at peace. I’m no longer in pain. And I am happy. I already miss you. Just the thought of not walking beside you in life is enough to crack my stern resolve. But my faith makes me believe that I WILL be beside you. In spirit.
I need you to believe that you are never alone.
I’m going to fill this journal with messages for you. And I’m going to convince you just how special you are. I’m going to help you cope with my loss. And I’m going to love and support you through the pages, when I can’t be there in life. Because, my beautiful sister, I love you more than life itself and will never be truly gone. You will always have me. I just need to convince you of that fact.
I love you, Savannah. Never forget that, because love will always carry you through.
Your devoted sister,
Poppy
A shuddering cry ripped from my throat, so loud that birds from the surrounding trees scattered into the sky. I ran my hand over the page as tears fell in deep rivers from my eyes. My shoulders shook with how badly I was crying, and I was defenseless in stopping this gut-wrenching sorrow from spilling out. Poppy … my Poppy … I shook my head and tipped my head up to the sky. I wanted to believe she was watching me. I wanted to believe she was there for me, walking beside me like she’d said, but—
The sound of a branch snapping behind me made me whip my head around. Cael stepped out of the tree line and held out his hand. “Sav—” he tried to say. His permanent scowl was gone and worry etched into his handsome face, but the gutting sadness, the tears and the cavern of loss this letter had buried inside of me, turned into anger, so swift and quick that it left me out of control.
Closing the journal, I jumped to my feet, ignoring my screaming muscles and snapped, “What are you doing here?” Cael held up his hands, trying to show he meant no harm. But it didn’t matter. I felt wired with fury. The ache of loss was so potent it was like fuel to an already roaring fire. “Why did you sneak up on me? Were you watching me?” My voice was rising higher and higher and I couldn’t control it.