Total pages in book: 134
Estimated words: 124135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 621(@200wpm)___ 497(@250wpm)___ 414(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 124135 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 621(@200wpm)___ 497(@250wpm)___ 414(@300wpm)
“No,” Easton said. Then he searched my eyes. It looked like there was a moment of clarity in his gaze. “I mean, what’s happening? With you?” I stopped breathing for a second. He laughed once without mirth. “I know it’s something.” He cupped my head and brought me in close, touching my forehead to his. “You’re hiding something from me. I know it.”
Tears pricked my eyes as his rolled back again. Pain shot through me, and I wanted to scream. Instead, I turned to Matt. “Can you help me, please? I need to get him back to his dorm.”
“Bonn?” Another voice came from behind me. Bryce was jogging over to us.
“Hi, Bryce.”
“Everything okay?”
Matt hoisted Easton to his feet, but my brother’s weight was too much for him. Bryce helped prop Easton up. “Where to?” Bryce asked.
“My car, please.” I led them to my car and opened the back door. Bryce slid Easton inside and shut the door. Hit with a sudden wave of dizziness, I leaned against the car and put my hand to my head. I was too hot. As much as I was fighting it, I knew this was getting too much.
“Bonn? You okay?”
I faked a smile. “Yeah. Just tired.”
Bryce smiled at me and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “I’ll follow you back in my car. I didn’t drink.”
I glanced at the Barn. “Were you on the decks?”
“Yeah. But it doesn’t matter. Party’s over anyway.”
“You sure?” Bryce had a nice smile. I wondered what Cromwell’s full smile would be like…I shook my head. I wouldn’t think of him right now.
“Bonn?” Bryce tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. I tensed. “Sorry,” he said, blushing. “I shouldn’t have…I…”
“It’s okay.” I squeezed his hand. It wasn’t calloused like Cromwell’s. He didn’t have tattoos on his knuckles.
I doubted he could create a masterpiece from nothing either.
I released Bryce’s hand and opened my car. “I’ll see you back at his dorm.” I slipped into the car as Bryce jogged to his. I watched him go and felt an ache in my chest. I had never let him in. He’d been there all this time, on the sidelines. And I’d never let him in. I’d never let anyone in.
You can’t, an inner voice said. It wouldn’t be fair.
My traitorous brain brought Cromwell’s image back to my head. And what it felt like sitting beside him. What it felt like to touch him. Listening to him. Him fighting a smile as we sat on the grass at the concert.
“Bonn?” Easton’s slurred voice came from behind me.
“I’m here, Easton.”
“What’s happening?”
“I’m driving you home.” I turned onto Main Street. “Not long now.”
“No, with you. What’s happening?”
My stomach fell again. It was the second time he’d asked it. A cloud of darkness seemed to settle over the car. I felt like I couldn’t breathe as I looked in the rearview mirror. Easton’s face was tormented. His hand landed on my shoulder. “You’d tell me, Bonn, wouldn’t you? The truth.”
“Easton.” A lump the size of Jupiter clogged my throat. “I’m okay.” I hated myself the minute I said those words. “Just rest.”
Easton smiled in relief, but I could see the lines of worry still printed on his forehead. He must have been thinking this for a while. My hands shook on the wheel as I drove the rest of the way home. I pulled into a parking spot in front of his place.
Bryce pulled in beside me. I turned off the engine and just sat in silence for a second. It was all getting too hard. It was all getting too much. I looked at the students staggering drunkenly back to their dorms and felt a gap form in my stomach. I had never experienced that. Would never know what it felt like.
I wasn’t one to wallow. But right then, I let the grief for what I had to miss consume me.
A knock on my window snapped me out of my sadness. Bryce’s face was there. “Open the door. I’ll get him out.”
I pushed out of the car, trying to ignore the fact that my legs felt like lead. Bryce threw Easton’s arm around his neck. I led the way to the room. I pulled out my key, but I paused when I thought of how Cromwell had reacted before.
I knocked on the door. My heart worked overtime as I waited to see if he would answer. It had been only hours since he’d walked out on me. Yet it felt like a lifetime ago. No one answered. He must have still been at the Barn.
I slid my key into the lock. As I did, the knob turned and the door opened. I lurched forward, righting myself at the last minute with my hand on the doorframe.
It took me a while to lift my head, but when I did, I was greeted with a hard, wide chest, every inch of which was covered in tattoos. I sucked in a breath when I saw Cromwell standing before me in only black boxer briefs. His chest was rising and falling, and I realized he was out of breath.