Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 89145 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 446(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89145 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 446(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
The pleasure subsided slowly, with one or two final bursts of come pulsing out of my cock, and I drew a shuddering breath and tried to get my breathing under control.
My appetite was usually quenched for a while after a round with Alfie, but as he’d pointed out…it’d been over two years. So even though my body would require some recovery time, the rest of me wanted to inhale him.
Feeling him squirming under me, I kissed his neck and pulled out carefully. “Ready for a shower?” I murmured.
“I’m ready for you to get hard again so you can fuck me till I come. My dick’s a diamond.”
“As in, a girl’s best friend?” Something my sisters loved to remind me of before Christmas.
They had husbands for that nonsense.
Alfie sucked in a breath and pushed himself up, and I tucked myself back in my boxer briefs and pants.
“I can’t think of a good comeback,” he muttered. “I’m too horny.”
“Good. That means you’ll be on me like a Band-Aid.” I hauled him up with me and hugged him from behind. To be an asshole, I slipped a hand down his pants and squeezed his cock too, causing him to moan and push his ass against me. “Yeah, just like that.”
“Sadist,” he accused.
“Greedy,” I corrected and nudged him up the stairs. “Clingy Alfie is my favorite Alfie.”
He hit the landing and spun around, and he locked his arms around my neck. “Do you mean that? And do I make you weak?”
I’d admitted to that, hadn’t I?
“In a manner of speaking—of course.” I leaned in and brushed my lips to his. “I’m not here because it’s convenient or because I need a quick release.”
He kissed me back chastely, then inched away and chewed on the corner of his lip. “So why are you here?”
Guilt settled around my chest, and I knew his need for me to spell it out was my fault. I hadn’t been nearly as forthcoming as he had—but I hoped he didn’t hold that against me. He’d ruined me once. I couldn’t let him do it again. And as much as I loved being here, needed to be here, it scared the hell out of me.
“Because I can’t be anywhere else.”
He swallowed, gaze flicking with hope and hesitation. “Sorry for pushing, but can’t or won’t?”
“Both,” I replied, without a second thought.
“Okay.”
He wasn’t convinced, and it cranked up the guilt. No fucking wonder. I’d given him the words, but I hadn’t shown him. In terms of my behavior, compared to what we used to share, I had one foot out the door now, and I was certain he could sense it. Otherwise, he wouldn’t bring it up.
The problem was, if I expressed what I wanted—if I let my actions reflect my deepest wishes—I wouldn’t be able to leave.
So what was I to do when my ex-husband, whom I couldn’t get over, needed reassurance and comfort, all while doing an awful job of hiding it? Was I supposed to forget our painful past? Was I supposed to ignore that he was now a fucking mobster? Was I supposed to throw caution to the wind and not consider our son and daughter first?
I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him when I had no words to give him.
My resolve was weakened but not shattered. Not yet. Even when I… Fuck. Even when I acknowledged to myself that if it were up to Alfie, we might have a second chance at a future together. He’d put himself out there with his raw honesty, which was so him. He’d said there was no moving on for him. But what would that future look like? Just entertaining the idea hurt me. Lies would become a standard practice because of what he did for a living. My father would undoubtedly find out once the rumors started flying. I’d have to get used to living with the need to look over my shoulder wherever I went. Maybe I’d even face consequences at work. I didn’t fucking know.
I had one more problem, though. I wasn’t sure a mile-long list of cons could win a war against the fact that I could not for the life of me let go of him.
“Let me take care of you,” I murmured into the kiss. “We can’t go to bed until I’ve seen you lose it.”
He shivered against me and nodded.
He took the lead, and I followed him into his bedroom. Big and open, maybe slightly empty, though that California King was more than a little inviting.
I hadn’t considered the layout up here, but I liked that the space was shared with the rooftop terrace. The pale glow from the moon shone through the glass doors and two windows. This was Alfie’s space—although, I did see one of Ellie’s Barbie dolls on the right-side nightstand.