Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 52915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 265(@200wpm)___ 212(@250wpm)___ 176(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52915 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 265(@200wpm)___ 212(@250wpm)___ 176(@300wpm)
There is a ripple of excitement from the many guests, who yes, absolutely seem to agree with him. They are so very excited. I think I see one of the dormice faint from excitement as our vows get underway.
“Do you, King Charming…”
Before the priest can ask Charming if he takes me as his bride, there is an incredible growl, coming as if from the earth itself. I have learned by now to recognize the sound of the dragon coming, and I am not the only one.
There is a ripple of fear through the audience, and a look of pure confusion on Charming’s face. He seems absolutely stricken with something like terror.
I cannot see the dragon. Is it underground? Did they bury it? Is it rising again? I spin about in my prison of a dress, looking for the creature. When I turn back, I do not have to look very far. The dragon is here. With me. Looming over me.
The guests flee, screaming, and they no longer sound like well-spoken people. They make animal sounds, guttural grunts, snarls, and squeals. Shrieks of terror.
HONK! HONK! The goose-priest flaps his wings, little bits of feather sweeping up and through the air, curling in the panicked breezes created by the massive wings of the dragon.
I am struck with horror, my dress far too bulky to allow me to run. If the dragon were to unleash a plume of fire now, I would be unable to protect myself. I would go up in thousands of yards of lace and satin.
But the dragon does not seem to want to hurt me. If anything, the dragon seems almost… mortified? It gives a great, raw shriek, beats its wings and flies away, fleeing the scene.
I do not know where King Charming is. He seems to have disappeared entirely in the chaos. I cannot believe he has abandoned me on my wedding day, a completely unchivalrous act that feels very out of character — but how would I know? I have known him for less than a day. I was marrying an almost total stranger, and now I see why they tell you not to do that sort of thing, even if it’s on television.
Left at the altar, I am not sure what to do with myself. The enchanted gazebo now looks like a weathered old pergola. I can see what looks like a stolen bike abandoned on one side of it. The frame is twisted, and there’s an old rusted lock half cut off it. It looks like something you’d see in an abandoned park when the city has run out of budget. The chairs are gone, tumbling to the wind, and the light bugs are now irritating, buzzing mosquitos.
What the hell is going on?
When I look down, I am no longer wearing a wedding dress. Instead, I am wearing a suit of armor. Metal plating covers my chest, torso, arms, and legs, and under my arm, there is a helmet. On my back, there is a sword.
I draw it from the scabbard on my back, lifting it over my head and down in front of me. The movement feels natural, and the blade is balanced so it does not feel like an uncomfortable burden.
It is a very ornate sword; the handle, I want to say hilt, is shaped like a dragon with its mouth open, flame emanating up the base of the blade.
There is a word inscribed on the blade itself:
DRAGONSLAYER
The letters shimmer with flame as I gaze upon them. This sword feels familiar. But it is also not entire. Toward the tip, there is a ragged chunk out of the blade, as if the weapon had been wielded against something much harder than a sword should ever come into contact with. I have to wonder what that might have been, if the weapon is designed to slay dragons, as per the moniker.
An uncomfortable, cold shivery feeling begins to creep over my skin, as I begin to understand that my bridal attire has been sucked away from me entirely. I have been stripped of the role of virginal newlywed, possibly because I am no longer virginal. Did the world somehow know about the satisfying, filthy defilement King Charming had me suffer at the mercy of his thick, agile, monstrous rod? Was innocence stripped away from me forever at that point?
“Oh no,” I whisper to myself. “Oh, no no no. I don’t want any part of this.”
I signed up to be married to an alien King Charming. I have played along with that part of the story all this time. I have found myself yearning for my Happily Ever After, something I never imagined I would experience on Earth.
And yet now, at the very moment we appeared to be mere sentences away from playing out a romantic script as old as time, everything has gone wrong.