Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 98965 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 495(@200wpm)___ 396(@250wpm)___ 330(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98965 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 495(@200wpm)___ 396(@250wpm)___ 330(@300wpm)
He wrapped his hands around my wrists, but not to pull away. Instead, he leaned his forehead against mine and closed his eyes.
I stayed there with him, holding him, letting him take whatever comfort he could from me. And despite all my alarm bells ringing that I was allowing intimacy I wasn’t ready for to deepen between us, I could not pull away.
Nineteen
ARIA
“Who were you as a teenager?”
I looked up from the soup and sandwich I’d thrown together for a late lunch to find North studying me curiously. It had been an emotional morning, and North had taken a walk on the beach for some fresh air. I’d stayed back, to give him time to think, and so I could work through the emails piling up in my inbox. I also spoke with Lachlan to update him on the situation after Jock called to tell me that a few paps had arrived at the gates. There weren’t as many as the first time because apparently, the paparazzi were only interested in you if the world was hating on you.
I couldn’t lie to my boss, especially since security already knew, so I told him North was with me. “It might be difficult for me to ask him to leave if this is a problem for you,” I told Lachlan. Thankfully, Lachlan was perfectly understanding.
“It’s nobody’s damn business why North is at your place. It’s complicated for you because your social circle includes the people in this industry. I know this isn’t in character for you and I know you won’t make a habit of it, so I can only assume you and North have become friends. That’s not my business.”
Friends.
What an inadequate word for whatever we were.
By the time North returned, I’d cleared the work that was a priority, glad for the distraction. And I couldn’t think about the awful email I’d received this morning. Clearly, someone out there wanted to hurt me, and there were a few people it could be, but they weren’t worth my energy. I’d wanted to focus on making sure North was okay without overthinking why his welfare was so important to me.
So we chatted as I put together lunch. I updated him on the security situation, and he curled a lip in distaste at the mention of the media.
Then we settled in to eat, which brought us to now and North’s out-of-left-field question.
“What do you mean, who was I as a teenager?”
“Well, I was the kid burying his trauma with drive. I wanted out of my tiny part of the world and I wanted to make something of my life. So I didn’t focus on what I didn’t have. I focused on what I wanted. We didn’t really have cliques at school, anyway, but I guess you could say I was the guy who was friends with everyone. Academics, theater kids, the athletic kids, the rich kids, the not-so-rich kids. And I did every extracurricular thing under the sun, so I didn’t have to think about anything but school.”
While there was an intensity to North beneath his cocky charm and humor (it especially came through in his acting work), I actually couldn’t imagine him as that driven type A student he’d described.
“Um … well, I was academic.” I shrugged. “I liked school. And I was on the swim team. Montana, my high school boyfriend, was a linebacker for the school football team, so between my dad being Wesley Howard and Montana being a jock, I was just accepted as one of the popular kids. But I wasn’t a cheerleader or the prom queen or anything like that. I was more reserved, not shy, but not overly gregarious. Mamma is such a flamboyant character, loud and attention-seeking, that I think I deliberately wanted to be the opposite.”
North frowned in thought. “Did she embarrass you?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I mean, it embarrassed me that guys I went to school with had the hots for her and always wanted to hang out at my place, hoping to see her in a bikini. She wasn’t around enough for the opportunity, thank God. I think it was more that everything always had to be—has to be,” I corrected, “about her. I love my mother, and there is goodness in her, kindness and empathy, and I know she loves me and Allegra. But she can be self-involved. When I was a kid, everywhere we went, it was all about Mamma. As I got older, that was uncomfortable for me. We’d go to a family gathering to celebrate my aunt’s birthday or to a friend’s party to celebrate their anniversary, and Mamma would make sure she was the center of attention. She’d do an unscheduled speech that turned into an Italian serenade or a solo dance. All that energy and beauty … people are drawn to her. Everyone else just fades into the background.