Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 98965 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 495(@200wpm)___ 396(@250wpm)___ 330(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98965 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 495(@200wpm)___ 396(@250wpm)___ 330(@300wpm)
Fiddling with her phone, she took a minute before meeting my gaze. And at that moment, I felt myself falling into her. Falling for her. Because there was nothing more important to me than taking away the sadness I saw buried in her eyes. My hands tightened on her and my words were thick as I pushed, “Talk to me.”
“Maybe it is stupid … but … Allegra always used to tell me she loved me in her texts.” Her voice broke a little as she dropped her phone onto the desk with a thump. “She hasn’t said it since I refused to help her with dropping out of college. I thought things were weird, but not so weird that she wasn’t talking to me. Does that make sense?”
I nodded, pressing closer.
“She hugged me when she left. I thought we were okay.” Without thinking, she sought my comfort, sliding her hands over mine. I turned my palms up and tangled my fingers through hers. “But she’s so distant. She just posted a picture from the South of France. She’s there for spring break and never mentioned to me she was going to an entirely different country. Oh, God …” She tugged on her hands, but I wouldn’t let her go. “I sound about ten years old.”
“You sound hurt,” I disagreed.
“I am.” Fresh tears brightened her eyes. “What? I’m only worthy of my family’s love as long as I do exactly what they want me to do for them? That’s how Mamma has made me feel my whole life, how the guys I’ve dated made me feel … I never thought Allegra would treat me like that.”
An ache scored through me. I hated that Aria was hurting. And I wanted to promise her I would never make her feel that way, but I knew it was not the right time to broach the subject of our relationship. Yet I wanted to fix this for her. “I’m going to give you the same advice you gave me. Speak up.”
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Sometimes people are so caught in their own shit, they don’t know how deeply their actions can cut others … until it’s pointed out to them.” I brushed my thumbs over the tops of her hands, trying to soothe her. “The girl I met hero-worships her big sister. Loves her. And no one is doing Allegra any good by treating her with kid gloves because she went off the deep end once.” Aria had confided in me that Allegra had gone off the rails a while back and ended up in rehab and therapy after a dodgy hookup with a drug dealer who turned out to be Sloane’s ex. “You all have to accept that she learned a big lesson from that night with Sloane and start treating her normally. Which includes calling her on her bullshit and telling her when she’s hurt you. Call her.”
Aria considered me, the frown between her brows intensifying. “What if I did hurt her?”
“Maybe you did. But you guys need to talk about it because this is eating you up. Nothing is more important than family, princess.”
New emotion sharpened her expression, and her grip tightened in mine. I knew that was for me. Empathy, not pity. And if I wasn’t mistaken, admiration. My chest suddenly felt too tight, and I had to swallow the urge to tell her how I felt. “Call her.” I moved to stand to give her privacy, but Aria refused to let go of me.
She licked her lips nervously. “Will you … will you stay with me while I call her?”
Hope—big, terrifying, brilliant fucking hope—filled me at her request. “Of course,” I answered gruffly.
And so I settled back on the edge of her desk while she dialed her sister’s number. Aria absentmindedly traced a pattern on my knee with her free hand as she waited for the call to connect. Then her gaze moved to mine and she mouthed in disappointment, “Voicemail again.”
“Leave a voicemail, then,” I whispered.
She looked hesitant for a second and then said, “Hey, Allegra, it’s me. Look … I wish you’d pick up, but since I have a feeling you won’t …” She exhaled shakily. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I really am. But you need to know you’re hurting me too. I”—her fingers curled sharply into my knee but I didn’t mind—“I didn’t know that your love for me depended on me giving you everything you want, but I guess that’s true. Every time I tell you I love you and you don’t say it back …” Her face crumpled and she sucked in a breath. My heart lurched, and I grabbed her hand. “It just … it hurts. It reminds me of all the times Mamma withheld those words unless I acted like she wanted me to act. She does that to you, too, so you know how it feels. I’ve always tried to be more for you than a big sister … but maybe I fucked up. Maybe I hurt you and so you want to hurt me back. I don’t know. I just wish you’d talk to me.” She disconnected suddenly and looked up at me with shimmering eyes. “Oh, fuck, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m the grown-up. I’m not supposed to burden her with my feelings.”