Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 55738 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 279(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 186(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55738 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 279(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 186(@300wpm)
I see him trying to close off again. It’s in his eyes and the tightening of his mouth, but then I also see him actively push away the instinct. I could spend so long just watching him, the light dancing in the silver of his hair, shimmering in the blue of his eyes. He’s a piece of living, breathing art.
“We had a one-night stand,” he replies. “It was the only one-night stand I ever had. I was drunk. I was young. Anyway, after, I went back to work. Three months later, I get a call. It’s Margot. She tells me she’s pregnant. She can’t do it alone. It’s either I help her or…” He swallows, clenching his fist around his steak knife. “Maybe I haven’t been the best father, but I couldn’t stand the idea of losing my baby, even before I knew him. A father’s duty is to protect his children. So I did what I thought—hoped—was the right thing. I stood by her. I got her a place. I gave her the chance to be a stay-at-home mom. I think she did her best, but she was too soft with James. She made him too damn entitled.”
He cuts off suddenly, as though he’s shocked by how much he’s shared.
Now, it’s my turn to reach across the table and touch his hand. I feel the heat burning through him. He clutches onto me tightly. “You did your best,” I murmur. “You were off saving the world.”
“Saving the world,” he repeats bitterly. “I did my part. I saved some people. I lost others.”
“Did you and Margot talk about how to raise James?”
“Yeah. I told her how I felt. She said I should quit my job if I cared that much.”
“That’s messed up,” I snap.
He leans back slightly, head tilted. Is it wrong that I love when he looks at me like this, as if I’m some sort of curiosity? I love fascinating him, intriguing him, challenging him. “You think so?” he asks. “Most people tended to agree with her.”
“Did she know what your job was when you… you know?”
“She did,” he says, grinning. “You can say sex, Samantha.”
My sex tingles at that. My memories return to the table, his manhood between my legs pressing against my virgin entrance. I wanted it so badly. I was pissed at my body for not cooperating with my desire. Next time, what if it happens again? What if I can’t ever give him what he wants, what I want?
“Did she know?” I press.
He nods. “But it’s not like we planned the pregnancy.”
“Even so, she should’ve done her best to raise him in a way that made you both happy. Anyway, raising a spoiled kid is crazy to me. When I’m a mom, I’ll do my best to make them grateful and humble. I’m going to do my best to make them into good people. Or maybe help them become the good people they already are.”
“I couldn’t have put it better myself,” he says passionately. “I meant what I said before. You’re going to make an incredible mother.” He pulls his hand away, frowning. “Sorry about this.”
I’m not sure what he’s talking about until he reaches into his pocket and takes out his phone. I guess it was on vibrate. “I would’ve turned it off,” he says, “but—”
“Loki?” I guess. “You want to be ready if there’s any news?”
“Exactly.” He sighs. “It’s James.”
“You can answer if you want,” I say.
“I feel like I have to,” he replies. “Lately, he’s been acting strange. Withdrawn. Even more so than usual.”
“It’s fine,” I tell him.
He answers, bringing the phone to his ear. His demeanor changes, reminding me of the date with James, when his behavior changed while on the phone with his dad. Fletcher becomes a father with concern etched into his features. I can tell he loves his son, despite the complications, despite me.
“No, I won’t be home for dinner,” he says. “I’m…” He glances at me as if to say sorry. “Working on some gym stuff.”
It’s not like I can get annoyed about this. I’m the one who said we didn’t have to tell Mom. There’s no reason James should know, either. Still, I can’t help but wish for a life where we can be together openly, without shame or doubt.
“I’ll see you later,” Fletcher says, then hangs up. He places his phone on the table, leans back in his seat, and sighs heavily. “Lying to him doesn’t feel good. I know he can be an ass. He has his issues.”
“He’s still your son,” I say.
“You’re the last person I’d expect to stand up for him.”
“We had a bad date,” I say. “He was rude, but it’s not the end of the world. It’s not like he’s a monster or something like that.”
“No, I’m the monster,” Fletcher says.