Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 55738 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 279(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 186(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55738 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 279(@200wpm)___ 223(@250wpm)___ 186(@300wpm)
“You don’t have to brace me,” he snaps. “Just lay it on me, Dad.”
We run our hands through our hair at the same time, and then both stop, acknowledging the match with a slight smirk. He lowers his hand and leans forward, staring at me, waiting for me to speak. My throat feels tight. Maybe some fatherly instinct deep inside is roaring at me to do the right thing: swallow my own love so my son can feel his. If Samantha wanted him over me, would I be able to do it then? But that’s a false comparison. She doesn’t want him. She can’t. We belong together.
“Samantha and I are seeing each other,” I say, which is one hell of an understatement. “We recently started a relationship. I’m sorry, son. I know this will rock your world, but Samantha’s my girlfriend.”
James shakes his head slowly. I expected a bigger reaction, but he seems to be hiding his feelings behind a shield of coldness. Maybe he’s so devastated he can’t accept what he’s just heard. “Explain,” he says after a long pause.
I sigh, wishing I was with her in bed again. I should’ve held her tightly this morning and kept her right next to me so we didn’t have to deal with any of this, but that’s a selfish, cowardly thought.
“You know, James…” I laugh, but there’s nothing funny. It’s just a noise. It’s just a way to let out some of the tension. “It’s actually very similar to you. When I saw her, I knew I wanted her. I knew she was mine. I knew… Hell, I even wrote it all down the day we met. I thought if I could get it out of me, maybe I’d be able to let her go, but I can’t. Last night, I was with her. We went on a date.”
He runs a finger over the knuckles of the opposite hand, looking down, not at me. “And how did that go?” he asks.
“It went well,” I reply, deciding to leave out the farmhouse showdown. “The truth is, James, I really care about her. I care about her more than…” I knew I could, I was going to say, but I don’t want to diminish my and Margot’s relationship in his eyes. We were good at hiding our mutual coldness from him, I hope. “Than I should be able to,” I go on, “considering the timeframe, but then you understand that feeling.”
“Yeah,” he murmurs, “because she was my date. She was mine.”
“No,” I say fiercely. “You went on a date, yes, but she was never yours. She was always mine.”
“She’s less than half your age,” James snaps. “That’s disgusting.”
I grit my teeth, glaring at him. The same fire I felt in the woods returns to me. It’s almost like I can smell gun smoke and feel the hot metal of a gun’s grip in my hand.
“If you think that,” I say, unclenching my jaw, “then fair enough. I can’t change your mind. Maybe the world will agree with you, but my per—but Samantha doesn’t feel that way, and that’s all that matters to me.”
“What about me, Dad? Don’t I matter?”
His voice cracks, becoming just like when he was a little kid. It sends a crack right through my heart. Even Loki whines and looks at me like I’m the bad guy. Reaching across the coffee table, I lay my hand on James’. “You matter more than anything. You’re my baby boy. You’re my son. I’d do anything for you.”
He leans back, gently brushing my hand away. When he looks me directly in the eye, I know something bad is coming. It’s in his posture, in the furious shape of his lips. He looks ready to fight.
“Anything?” he says, and I already know where it’s going. Goddamn it. “So if I asked you to leave Samantha, never see her again, talk to her, or think about her… Could you do that, Dad?”
I open my mouth to speak, but there’s nothing I can say. No words will come out. I’m caught between my son and the woman of my dreams. No, not caught. I trapped myself. I chose this. The second James told me how he felt about her, I should’ve ended things, but I simply can’t.
“James…”
He jumps to his feet and almost runs for the door. Loki yaps in sheer confusion and runs in a small circle, darting at me, then the door, then back at me. James leaves the house, slamming the door behind him, causing the entire structure to tremble.
Loki leaps into my lap, whining and clambering up my chest, trying to lick my face. I turn my cheek to him and let him lick it. It gives me a view of the front driveway. James backs his car out and drives away with a loud screech noise, the tires leaving marks on the road.