Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 108141 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 541(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 360(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108141 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 541(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 360(@300wpm)
I walk outside the hospital and call my dad, updating him. He and my mom are on their way to the hospital, but I tell him it’s pointless to come up here when she’s asleep and it’s all a waiting game. He reluctantly agrees and tells me to keep him updated.
Needing to get some air, I take a walk down the sidewalk and around the back of the hospital. I’ve never gone this way, but I know where it leads to. I’ve only been here once, twelve years ago, but I’ll never forget it. I should’ve come more often, but I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t look at the tombstone. Face what I caused.
I walk down the pathway to the cemetery, and once I’m inside, walk along the grass rows until I get to the one I’m looking for.
Baby Romero is the name on the tombstone since we never agreed on a name. The dates are the same, because she was declared dead before she was even born. The stone is a little dirty, but the grass around the area is cut neatly. There are fresh flowers in the holder, and I wonder if that’s done from the cemetery or if someone else did that. Until I look over at the tombstone next to my daughter’s and spot a woman kneeling in front of it. The same colored flowers in the holder. I haven’t seen the woman since the day I buried my daughter, but here she is, at the same time as me.
I don’t even know why I’m here. Maybe to remind myself of what happens to the people who are too close to me. Twelve years later, and another person I love is in the hospital, once again because of me. At what point do I realize I’m not meant to have some bullshit happily ever after? Everything and everyone I touch are tainted by my choices, my actions. Kelsi was too sweet, too kind, too good. I considered running after her when she left, but decided against it. I kept an eye on her from afar, made sure she was taken care of financially. She’s now married to a real estate broker and has two kids. She’s happy and safe.
Nevaeh deserves so much better than what I can give her. Will it always be like this? Even with my dad and me going legit? Will we always have to look over our shoulders, protect our loved ones from potential harm?
The woman sobs and places her hand against the stone, then she stands, and her eyes meet mine. “Ethan,” she breathes.
“Susan.” And it hits me… twelve years ago. She was the woman who comforted me. The woman who lost her baby. I knew I recognized her, but I couldn’t place from where. That day in the cemetery, I was so out of it. I had just lost Kelsi and our daughter. All I could remember was the woman who comforted me, but now that I see her standing in front of the grave, it’s obvious.
“I was eighteen years old,” she says, her eyes filled with unshed emotion. “I had a one-night stand and got pregnant.” She nods toward the stone. “My mother was so ashamed, she sent me away. Eight months later, I gave birth to the most beautiful little girl, and three weeks later, she died. She was born with a brain defect and the doctors said they had to operate. She never woke up.”
She hiccups through a sob and I pull her into my arms, comforting her the same way she did for me all those years ago. “I’m so sorry.” Now everything Nevaeh has told me makes sense.
“My mother told me it was God’s way of punishing me for my sins.”
I back up slightly, so she can see me while I speak. “No God I want anything to do with would kill a baby to punish you. Just as he wouldn’t kill my baby to punish me. Don’t you remember what you said to me all those years ago?”
She shakes her head, wiping her tears. “I wasn’t in the best place that day.”
“You said, God has a plan for each one of us and one day I would understand why things happen the way they do. I didn’t get it at the time, but losing my daughter led me to Nevaeh. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Susan smiles softly. “She’s the best thing to happen to me too, along with her brother and my husband.”
“Then why would you treat your kids the way your mom treated you? Nevaeh’s tried for so long to be the perfect daughter, to live up to your ridiculous expectations, meanwhile, you of all people know firsthand about not being perfect and being exiled and punished for it.”
“I know,” she sobs. “I know it’s my fault. I just didn’t want my children to live with the pain and regret I had to live with. I tried to make sure they would never be in the position to make the same mistakes I made.”