Total pages in book: 76
Estimated words: 74457 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 372(@200wpm)___ 298(@250wpm)___ 248(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74457 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 372(@200wpm)___ 298(@250wpm)___ 248(@300wpm)
“Not bad. The usual.”
“You haven’t been going out lately.”
He shrugged, not meeting my gaze. “Not much has been going on.”
“That’s not true. I heard Chris Horgan had a party last weekend. Did you go?”
“Nah, wasn’t invited.”
I sighed and tugged at my hair. “Come on, that’s not true. You and Chris are friends. He doesn’t need to invite you, but I’m sure he did anyway.”
Sam clicked away at his laptop. His car flew across a field and tried to smash into a ball, aiming to bash it into the opposing team’s net. I had to admit, it looked really fun, if incredibly weird.
“What do you want me to say? I didn’t go, it’s not a big deal.”
For any other kid, that would probably be true, but Sam was as outgoing and type-A as it went. He thrived on social interactions and loved being around people, and whenever he pulled away and hid in his room blasting awful music, I knew something was going on.
He’d struggled with mental health problems since we were little kids. I didn’t have proof, but I was convinced that it all stemmed from what happened to him with Dr. Silver. I tried to convince him to see a therapist more than once, since I figured a professional might be able to help him deal with his traumatic experience, but he always refused. I’m fine, big sis, seriously, the past is the past, you can let it go too, you know.
He wasn’t wrong but I chose not to look at myself too closely. I didn’t like being a hypocrite.
I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He still wouldn’t look at me.
“If you’re depressed—”
“I’m not depressed.”
“Sam—”
“I appreciate your concern, but I’m not depressed.”
I chewed on my lip and looked around. Sometimes it was hard to tell the difference between a depressed person’s sadness mess and a regular teenage boy’s normal existence, but I was pretty sure it’d gotten worse in the last few weeks.
“All right, look, I’m not going to fight with you. I’m just here to say, I love you, and if you need someone to talk to, I’m around.”
“I appreciate that, big sis.” He flashed me his charming smile. My little brother was going to break so many hearts—and probably had already. “But really, I’m cool, promise.”
I patted his leg and stood. That was about as close as we got to hugging. My family wasn’t a touchy-feely group and we preferred to be as emotionally distant as possible.
Which didn’t help a damn thing, but whatever.
I left his room and headed back into my own. As I sat down in my bed, my burner phone vibrated. I grabbed it, heart suddenly racing.
Jarrod: I think I’ve got an idea.
Cora: Yeah? About what?
Jarrod: How to deal with our problem. We should meet and talk.
I tapped my fingertip against my headboard. The look on Calvin’s face drifted back and I shuddered. He seemed so angry that I was spending time with Jarrod, almost if he knew what we were planning.
But that wasn’t possible, was it?
I knew the Horsemen were close. Jarrod, Calvin, Addler, and Des were best friends and ruled the campus with an iron fist. And yet Jarrod couldn’t have been stupid enough to mention what we were doing to any of them.
Cora: Aren’t people going to get suspicious when we start spending a lot of time together?
Jarrod: Fuck people.
Cora: People talk. We’re trying to keep low key, right?
Jarrod: You’re my tutor.
Cora: And what do I tell Robyn when she asks what I’m tutoring you in?
Jarrod: Tell her is for sex ed.
Cora: You’re funny. But I’m being serious.
Jarrod: I’m not joking. Tell her we’re fucking. I don’t care.
Cora: How’s that gonna go over with your little friend group?? And you think Robyn’s going to be fine with me sleeping with her cousin???
Jarrod: Fucking. Not sleeping with. Fucking. Get it right, freak.
Cora: You know what I mean. That’s not a realistic thing.
Jarrod: I don’t care what Addler and them think. They’ve got their own damn skeletons to worry about, they don’t need to worry about mine.
Cora: I’m not sure that’s how it works.
I debated whether I should tell him about Calvin or not, but decided against it. Maybe I was being selfish, or maybe I was trying to protect him, but for some reason as soon as I typed up the message, I deleted it instead.
He didn’t need to know. Whatever Calvin thought was going on didn’t matter. He probably figured Jarrod was sleeping with me, and maybe he worried I was going to break Jarrod’s heart—if that was even possible.
I needed Jarrod. I couldn’t kill Dr. Silver on my own. That’d become painfully clear ever since Jarrod took over this whole enterprise and made me realize just how completely unprepared I actually was. If I told Jarrod and that spooked him, then I’d be back where I was, living in a purgatory of my own creation, pining for the death of a monster that looked like he’d never be punished.