Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73774 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
“When she killed herself, she was pregnant. I had no idea until the nurse came and told me.”
“Oh, Gage.” I walk over to him with Rory still sobbing in my arms. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was afraid,” he admits softly. “I was afraid if I told you that I couldn’t keep Tori’s baby safe, you’d think I couldn’t keep Rory safe. You’ve already lost two babies.” He swallows thickly, his sad blue eyes locking with mine. “Looks like it ended up happening anyway. Maybe if I’d told you, this could’ve been prevented.”
“Don’t you dare go there,” I say, refusing to let him do this to himself. “That is not the same thing. You were not responsible for your mom’s death or for keeping Tori and her baby safe. There’s nothing you could’ve done to protect or save them.” I reach out and lay my palm on the side of his tearstained cheek. “You can’t let that guilt weigh on your shoulders. It wasn’t your fault, just like Rory getting hurt wasn’t your fault. It’s part of being a parent. Every day, all we can do is love our babies and pray they’re safe. But at any moment, they can be taken from us.”
I lean over and kiss Rory’s forehead, and she sighs softly, her eyes fluttering closed, the pain meds and exhaustion making her sleepy. “Yes, she got hurt. But it could’ve happened with me or anyone watching her. Life is unpredictable. You can’t keep shouldering the responsibility and blame.”
I sit on the chair and pat the one next to me, and Gage joins me. “Were you clean and sober?”
“Of course,” he chokes out.
“Were you watching her?”
“Yeah, but—”
“It was an accident. She broke her arm, and that sucks, but it was just that… an accident.”
“She was in so much pain.”
“Did you take care of her?” I ask, already knowing the answer but needing him to hear it. “Did you hold her in the ambulance and make sure she knew she was safe?”
He nods, tears pricking his eyes. “I was so scared, Sadie. I had a flashback from when Tori died, and I was scared it was going to take me under.”
“So what did you do?”
“I called you,” he chokes out. “I’m so sorry,” he sobs. “If you don’t want me to take her—”
“Nope,” I say, pressing my fingers to his lips, refusing to let him finish that thought. “I don’t trust you any less with her than I did before the accident. You did everything you could.” I lean over and kiss his wet lips. “I love you, Gage.”
We sit in silence for several minutes, and then the technician comes in, bringing an X-ray machine with her. She takes pictures of Rory’s arm and then the doctor confirms that it’s broken. After realigning the bone, a bright pink cast is put on her arm—her choice—and then we’re discharged with a prescription for meds and a referral to see the pediatric orthopedic doctor in four weeks.
Gage remains quiet when we get home, holding Rory and lying with her while she falls asleep. I give him his space, reading a book since I can’t focus enough to work.
Once she’s asleep, he comes out and sits next to me, lifting my legs into his lap. “Thank you for being there,” he says, massaging my feet.
“We’re partners,” I tell him. “When you need me, I’ll be here, just like when I need you, I know you’ll be here too.” He squeezes my foot and smiles softly at me.
We sit in comfortable silence, both of us lost in our thoughts. I don’t know why, but the song he wrote for me plays in my head, and I sigh, thinking about how true the lyrics are.
“For what it’s worth…” I sit up and climb onto his lap. “You healed me. My heart was broken and bleeding, and you fixed it by giving me the greatest gift… our daughter.” His eyes light up in understanding. “It’s because of her, because of you, I’m finally living again.”
He wraps his arms around me, and I kiss him tenderly on his lips, then nestle my head into the crook of his neck, enjoying the comfort of being held by Gage.
“There’s something I need to do, and it’d mean a lot if you’d join me,” he says after a few minutes. “Do you think you could ask Janice to come over and watch Rory? We won’t be long.”
“Tori, I’d like you to meet Sadie. I wanted you to meet her because she and Rory, our beautiful daughter, wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.” Gage sniffles, and I wrap my arms around him, holding him tight. “I hate that you’re gone,” he says, “but something good, something bright came from the darkness of your death. I met Sadie.”
He pulls a crumpled paper out of his pocket and opens it up. “It took me a while to do as you asked, but I’ve finally done it.” He glances at me, a small smile playing on his lips. “I’ve found happiness.” He pulls a lighter out of his pocket and sets the corner of the paper on fire, dropping it onto the stone of her grave.