Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 97188 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97188 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
I glance at Lizzie. Does she realize what progress she must have made for them not to toss us overboard and take off the moment they have the chance? Impossible to say. Her expression is perfectly locked down, even when she looks at me. It couldn’t be clearer that she intends to distance herself from me.
Well, that’s not going to work for me. I got a taste of what it could be like to really be with her, and I’ll be damned before she slams that door in my face out of fear. It would be one thing if she didn’t want me, but the barrier now standing between us is guilt and fear. Unacceptable. We have so little time left together that I’m determined not to waste it. I’m going to knock down that barrier the first chance I get.
I’m going to seduce myself a vampire.
chapter 22
Lizzie
I barely have the space to worry about this new village and these new people because I’m too busy worrying about Maeve. Drash is more city than village, though I’ve never been in a city I could see in a single glance. It reminds me of the natural amphitheaters that exist in my realm, but so much more intentional. Later, I’ll be curious. Right now, I’m focused on getting Maeve to a healer.
She keeps telling me she’s fine, as if she didn’t spend two full days unconscious. Vampire blood can heal, but in my experience, there are plenty of supernatural creatures who would rather die than take it. Sometimes there are adverse effects. Sometimes unintended paranormal consequences. I don’t know enough about selkies, let alone selkies in Threshold, to risk it. Hurting Maeve more than I already have is unacceptable.
I’ve never really worried about hurting people before. I don’t like the sensation. I hate how helpless it makes me feel. But the alternative is walking away, and that’s even more unacceptable.
I cup Maeve’s elbow, ignoring her sharp look, and help her onto the dock. Not that she seems to need much assistance, but guilt is riding me hard, and I manage to put distance between us. “Let’s find you a healer.”
“That is absolutely not necessary.” She covers my hand with hers, her eyes concerned. “Have you fed since . . . ?”
“No.” I barely left her side for the last five days. I hadn’t wanted to leave her side. I couldn’t shake the fear that if I wasn’t there to measure each inhale and exhale, each beat of her heart, that both might . . . stop.
“Lizzie, you have to feed.”
I have the strangest urge to shuffle my feet and drop my eyes. Even stranger is the desire to dig in my heels. Hurting Maeve scared the shit out of me. I don’t know if I can bring myself to bite her again, but the thought of biting someone else fills me with unease. It’s a silly reaction. It makes absolutely no sense. I don’t know a single vampire who is perfectly monogamous. Even if they are sexually, they certainly aren’t when it comes to their bites. Even being in a long-term relationship with some fast-healing supernatural, there might be times when it’s simply not feasible that they’re your only source of blood. Now, with Maeve, who almost died because of me, the concept is unthinkable.
So why haven’t I asked one of the crew to step in? I could say that most of them are still terrified of me and would rather toss themselves into the sea than allow me near them, but that’s not quite the truth. It barely registered that I should ask in the first place. Hunger is a gnawing monster inside me, but it’s one that I’ve dealt with before. Conquered before.
I’ll conquer it this time, too.
“Lizzie.” Maeve tightens her grip on my arm. “Let’s talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” I try to pick up my pace, but I pull up short when I realize she’s not doing the same. I’ve never had conflicting urges to conquer and protect inside me. Not even with Evelyn, whom I cared about more than I thought possible. Funny how I have to remind myself of that now. Funny how what I experience with Maeve has eclipsed that feeling in every way. Except it’s not funny. Not even a little bit.
I’m thinking myself in circles, and it’s making me want to scream. This isn’t what I do. I pick a direction and go, annihilating anything in my path. There’s no room for questioning, no room for doubt. And yet that seems to be all I’m capable of currently.
It’s a testament to how much better Maeve is feeling that she digs in her heels the moment we leave the dock. “If you want me to go to a healer, then we’re going to talk about this. Now.”