Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 81426 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81426 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
“You? But you’re gorgeous!” He slapped his hand over his mouth. “I mean, you’re like, attractive or whatever. I bet girls think that.”
“Eh, does it ever matter what other people think? What matters is how we feel in here.” I touched my chest. “And in here.” I touched my temple. “I never felt good about myself, and being jealous didn’t help. Rush was my best friend, and I wanted him to be happy. I started to realize that I was…that I was in love with him.” Shit. This whole thing was harder to talk about than I expected, but I wanted Theo to know. If it would help him, I’d tell him anything.
“Oh, wow…”
“Yeah, it was a hell of an internal revelation. And it was tough to work through because part of me felt like I was losing him right when I was struggling to know who I really was. So I told myself I was straight and it had just been Rush, which I know makes no sense.”
“The brain,” he reminded me.
I chuckled. “Yep. And mine does some funny things sometimes. But then, through it all, Cam was there. We became friends, and I talked to him…hell, I talked to him in ways I hadn’t with Rush in a long time. He never made me feel embarrassed. He was always there. He became important to me in a way that only Rush had ever been.” My pulse sped up, and my hands began to feel clammy.
“You were falling in love with him?”
My eyes snapped to Theo’s. “What? No.” I wasn’t in love with Cam. I couldn’t be. Could I? It definitely wasn’t something I wanted to sort through right then, so I shoved the thought out of my head. “I just realized I liked him, that I was attracted to him. That it wasn’t only Rush, which meant I wasn’t straight. I settled on bisexual because it was the closest label to what felt right for me, even if sometimes it doesn’t feel like it fits a hundred percent.”
“And Camden feels the same. I bet he liked you the whole time. You should see the way he looks at you.”
Goose bumps ran the length of my arms, making the hair there stand on end. Camden wanted to fuck me. He’d always wanted to fuck me. That was no secret. And we’d become friends, the best of. We enjoyed each other’s company, were attracted to each other and everything, but I wasn’t sure he looked at me like I was something special, or that he had the whole time. “Emotions and relationships are complicated. Right now, Cam and I aren’t serious. We’re just…seeing what happens.”
“And it’s, um…it’s been okay? No one has been homophobic to you or anything?”
Goddamn, this poor kid. I wanted to protect him from the world, but I knew I couldn’t do that. “It’s been fine so far. No one has said anything, but I’ll be honest with you, everyone who knows is either LGBTQ themselves or LGBTQ friendly. I haven’t told older friends from Virginia, or my dad.”
Which was complicated in and of itself, but considering Cam and I were technically friends with benefits in a fake relationship, I didn’t see a reason to tell my father yet.
I continued, “But I think the smart thing is to always do what makes a person comfortable and keeps them safe. If a person feels unsafe, they should be careful. Everyone should be able to choose for themselves who they tell and when they tell them. And there are resources out there. I would do my best if anyone needed me. Cam’s also a very good person to talk to, and he knows a lot of people who would help. We have a friend named Trey, who would be a good person to talk to as well. If a person needed it, I mean.”
Theo nodded. “Construction Guy told me about him.” Then…he set his sketchbook on the table. His hand was shaking as he pushed it over to me.
“You want me to look at it?”
He nodded again.
Damned if my hands weren’t trembling too. This was a really fucking big moment, one I was honored to be a part of, and I didn’t want to screw up.
I picked it up and…holy shit, he was a good artist. It was a comic about a kid named Awkward Boy. He wore a beanie and carried a skateboard like Theo did. Only he had powers too. He could fly on the skateboard, and he helped people in trouble.
Construction Guy was in the comics too. And…me. I started out as Lost Man, but then became Friendly Man, the kind guy with the sad eyes. Had I seemed lost to him? Did I have sad eyes? Jesus, I wouldn’t be surprised if I did.
My hands still shook as I turned the pages, as I saw that Friendly Man seemed lonely like Awkward Boy. That Awkward Boy had noticed it right away, and it made him feel a connection to Friendly Man…but that he didn’t seem so lonely when Construction Guy was there. That Friendly Man laughed more then and his eyes lit up. And that it made Awkward Boy wonder if he could feel that way one day too.