Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 79898 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79898 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Ada yawned. She stretched and then flopped down on her large stuffed bunny, closing her eyes and snuggling close. Watching her was so cute that it always touched my heart and even though I knew I had a ton of stuff to do, I curled up next to her with my head resting on a stuffed raccoon. Soon, Ada was snoring away and I had to tear myself away from her and head into the kitchen.
Topher and my dad were assembling my IKEA furniture – they’d already done the couch and bedframe, and now they were working on the dining room table. I smiled, stifling a yawn of my own as I made for the grocery bags we’d picked up on the way.
“Prosciutto mac and cheese sound good to everyone?” I asked.
“God, I’m fucking starving,” Topher groaned. “I’d eat anything right now.”
My dad looked mildly offended at the swear, but gave me a tired smile.
“Sounds great, hon,” he said. “How is Ada settling in?”
“She’s napping,” I said as I shot Topher a pointed glance. “But I’m sure she’ll get up for dinner.”
As I whipped together my specialty – macaroni and cheese with homemade Gruyere cheese sauce, baked in prosciutto cups that I assembled in a silicone muffin pan – my mind began to wander. I had been so sure that I was doing the right thing – moving to New York, getting a new job, making sure that my daughter and I had our own apartment – but now, I wondered if that was true. Life had been easy in Boston. Not always fun, but easy. Living with my dad again had felt like a comforting balm after what had happened with Nico, and he hadn’t judged me or asked too many questions.
Now it was time to toughen up and make sure that I was doing things right. I knew I could do it, I just had to push through any doubt and uncertainty that came my way.
The four of us ate in mostly silence – not from acrimonious tension or anything, but because we were all so hungry. The dish that normally yielded leftovers barely made enough to feed all of us, even Ada who could be a picky eater.
When we were finished, my dad stood up and yawned. “Let me get this little one off to bed,” he said as he scooped Ada up in his arms. “She’s fading fast.”
“You mind washing her face?” I asked wryly, looking at the dried cheese all over Ada’s chin and mouth.
My dad chuckled. “Not at all.” He carried Ada into the other room and I heard him singing James Taylor to her in the bathroom
“So,” Topher said. “You sure you’re okay?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “What do you mean?”
“Well ... you’re back in the same city as Ada’s dad,” Topher said. When he saw the look on my face, he nearly winced. “And this is the last time I’ll bring it up, I swear,” he added.
I nodded. “I get it,” I said. “I really do – but don’t worry. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
Topher made a weird face. “I mean ... you never told him about Ada. He doesn’t know that he has a little girl walking around.”
“And he never will,” I said firmly. “New York is huge, did you forget that?”
Topher nodded. “Yeah, well, you can take care of yourself,” he said. “I always forget how tough you are, sis.”
My dad reappeared and Topher clamped his lips together.
“I hate to leave like this, but we should get back on the road,” my dad said. “We’ve got to get that U-Haul back before ten.”
I nodded. We hugged goodbye and I tried to tell myself that this was just temporary – of course it was. I’d see my dad and my brother all the time.
So, why did I suddenly feel like a kid dropped off at college?
They left, and then it was just me and Ada, back in New York. I checked on my daughter once – she was curled up on a pile of stuffed bunnies, snoring quietly – and then went to my room and lay down on the bare mattress. I knew I should shower, but I was so exhausted that I could hardly comprehend the thought of moving.
I knew that things would be okay now, but that didn’t mean that I sometimes didn’t worry about the future. Ada was getting to the age where she was very observant, and I knew it was only a matter of time before she started asking me about her daddy – where he was, why he didn’t come home with a kiss and a coloring book for her every Friday night, how he and Mommy had met.
My stomach churned, and I wished that I hadn’t wolfed down as much rich food. Getting pregnant four years ago had been the most terrifying experience of my life, but I didn’t regret having Ada at all. I loved her, more than anything else on the surface of the planet, and I wouldn’t have done anything differently. I was just lucky that I’d been fortunate enough to have the support of my father and brother along the way.