Total pages in book: 37
Estimated words: 33998 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 170(@200wpm)___ 136(@250wpm)___ 113(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33998 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 170(@200wpm)___ 136(@250wpm)___ 113(@300wpm)
Once I was sitting in my seat in the chapel, Joey slammed his gavel on the table, bringing the room to attention. “Fathers of Mayhem are riding in for a shipment of guns. They’re not staying. This is a rush order. River called me around midnight to let me know, so once this meeting is out, ride out and get to the warehouse, clear?” He looked at me. “You, Ink, and Vern are on this one again.”
“Got it,” I grunted, while Ink and Vern both nodded. Maybe getting away from the clubhouse for a couple of hours would be good. Fuck knew I needed space from Cannon.
“Can you handle this?” Joey asked me.
I sneered at him in answer. He knew I would never let my personal shit hinder the club. This club—this family—was my life. It was all I had any more, and it was the only thing keeping me breathing. He was an asshole for even asking.
Joey just shrugged at me, not the least bit bothered by my bad mood. “That’ll be all. We’ll reconvene when you three get back,” he said, slamming the gavel to end church.
I downed the rest of my coffee and left it on the table for one of the club girls to grab and wash before I walked out to the gravel lot, heading straight for my bike. I followed Ink with Vern trailing me to the warehouse, where we propped ourselves up in chairs to wait for River to get there, which shouldn’t take long. Especially if it was a rush order. River wouldn’t be taking his time.
“You okay, brother?” Ink suddenly asked me, breaking the peaceful silence. I grunted. “You’ve been lost for the past couple of weeks. I know the date is coming up.”
I nodded at him, trying not to lash out. He was concerned, and I understood that, even if I didn’t fucking like it. “Doing my best,” I confessed.
He rubbed the back of his neck before dropping his hand back to his lap just as Helena appeared at the edge of the woods, staring at me. I flinched but stared back at her, my throat working as I tried to swallow.
“You see her, don’t you?” Ink quietly asked.
I finally managed to swallow past the lump in my throat and nodded my head. “Am I fucking losing my mind? I’ve seen her ever since that night. She’s everywhere, Ink.” I leaned forward and braced my elbows on my knees, dropping my face into my hands. “I can’t fucking escape her.”
Ink was shaking his head when I turned to look at him. “Spirits and ghosts cling to us, especially when we’re clinging to them.”
I closed my eyes, my chest constricting. I wasn’t trying to hold her here, but I didn’t know how to let go of her. The thought of being without her, even if it was just her ghost, fucking made me feel like someone was gutting me. “I don’t know how to let her go, Ink. I didn’t get there in time. She begged me to save her, but—”
“Don’t,” Ink growled. He reached out and clasped the back of my neck, bringing our foreheads together. I squeezed my eyes shut to hold back my tears. “What happened was not your fault. Your parents left the stupid stove on.” And fucking hell, I hated them for that. Something so minor had turned catastrophic. Had made the sweetest little girl lose her life. But at least they’d lost theirs in the process. Because if they hadn’t, I would’ve slaughtered them for this. “This falls entirely on them, you hear me? You did what you could, but it was already too late.”
“It wasn’t—”
“It was,” Ink snapped, shaking me for good measure. I glanced toward the woods; Helena was still standing there, just watching us. “You loved Helena to pieces, brother. All of us know that. And while she knew you, you were the best damn big brother she could have ever asked for, you hear me? At least she had your comfort in her last moments. You didn’t leave her alone in that house, Whiler. In that way, you did save her.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, willing my tears back. A ragged breath left my lungs, escaping out my mouth. Ink gently shook me again. “You have to let her go, brother. Being stuck here isn’t helping her.”
He released me just as we heard bikes pulling up the long, overgrown path. Steeling myself, I locked it all back away, shoving Ink’s words into the back of my mind to return to later. This wasn’t the time nor place to figure all that shit out.
River came around the bend and rolled to a stop, Sam behind him, and Tank driving the van. I nodded once at the three of them in greeting, and Ink strode forward to cover everything else.