Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 56606 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 283(@200wpm)___ 226(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56606 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 283(@200wpm)___ 226(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
I feel him emotionally pulling away as he has physically and immediately, I fight with the unease of having distance between us. Standing up, I let instincts carry me to him. As soon as I’m close, he reads my face and reaches out pulling me to him. I wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face in his chest. Inhaling, I take in the moment. I’m in his arms.
I’m home.
I’ve never felt more settled in my entire life.
“Give me this chance, Maritza, and I promise you I’ll be worth it.”
I stand in silence in his arms. It’s already worth it even if it breaks my heart forever. I want nothing more than to see what I can build with the Hellion in my arms.
FOURTEEN
DILLON
I don’t want to make assumptions. I stand with her in my arms knowing what I want with Maritza, but not sure if she believes it.
The sliding door opens to the porch and Hollis comes out in his pajama pants. Seeing our embrace, he smiles as he scurries over to us joining in the hug. The sun sets with the two people I care about the most in the world in my arms.
For the first time in what seems like forever, I can say everything is right for me in this moment.
“Zizi,” Hollis says stepping back, “do you think when we say my prayers tonight, I could talk to my mom?”
Maritza steps out of my arms and I instantly feel the loss. “Yes, buddy, I do. I’ll go get in my pajamas, brush my teeth, wash my face, and then we can do prayers, and I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”
I remain on the porch as my son heads inside to his room and Maritza goes about her nighttime routine. I don’t know how I would have managed Hollis if she wasn’t here. She gives him the comfort of a mother and helps him navigate all of his emotions regarding his mom. Things I struggle to understand.
Moving inside my house, I settle on the couch in the quiet. One thing my time in the Marines taught me is to be comfortable in silence. I find my thoughts to be clearer when I take time to embrace moments without distraction. I don’t know how much time passes, but I do notice when Maritza emerges from Hollis’ room. I pat the seat beside me on the couch.
“You okay?” I ask as she takes the seat beside me. I like having her close. Even though there are two chairs she could have sat in, I take it as a good sign she chose to be by me. I still don’t know why she is out here. Normally, she falls asleep right behind Hollis. I don’t wake her because selfishly I find comfort having her here.
“You never wake me,” she confirms what we both know to be true. “Why? It’s been weeks, over a month even, and you don’t wake me to go home. You let me stay.”
I twist a bit in order to face her on the couch and she does the same. “It probably sounds crazy, but Maritza, there is something about knowing you are here, my son is here, and I can keep you both safe. Things changed for me in Florida. The reality that I care in ways I knew but pushed down are feelings I won’t deny anymore.”
She reaches out and puts her hand on my knee. I drop my hand to lace our fingers together.
“I don’t know how to do this,” she tells me honestly. “I haven’t had a serious relationship since high school, and Dillon you have a son, this has to be something neither of us take lightly for him.”
“I don’t take anything about family lightly. My mother left me at my aunt and uncle’s house before I even started kindergarten. You have more time as a role model for my son than I ever even spent with my own mother. It gave me a distorted view on love and family for a long time. I’m older now and I know what I want is a family with you. I don’t want to push. I want to take things slow and do this the right way because it would kill me to fuck this up.”
We sit together, facing each other on my couch, her head rests on the back of the couch, while I hold mine in my right hand. My left hand is interlaced with her right hand on my thigh as we don’t speak but embrace the moment.
“Dillon, I’m a mess inside,” she whispers.
“Baby, I dropped my entire shit homelife on you ten years ago and you haven’t once given a second thought to stepping in for me. Nothing about you can ever turn me off or away.”