Total pages in book: 44
Estimated words: 40635 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 203(@200wpm)___ 163(@250wpm)___ 135(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 40635 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 203(@200wpm)___ 163(@250wpm)___ 135(@300wpm)
"I have a question first," I say, holding his gaze.
"Ask it. I'll tell you anything."
Maybe this isn't the right time. Maybe there are things I should do first. I don't know. But I can't move forward. I can't even think about moving forward one way or another until I know…
"Did you know I was pregnant before you left that day?"
Part of me has always wondered. He always knew my body better than I did. He knew my cycle down to the day. For years, I hoped he knew. That he suspected before he left. I consoled myself with the knowledge that, even if Brinley never got to meet her daddy, there was a chance he knew about her before he died. It was the only hope I had.
But now he's back, and that hope feels…so fucked up. So twisted. Because if he knew…if he walked away anyway…he didn't just leave me. He left her too. And I'm not sure there's a single thing in the world he can tell me that'll ever make up for that.
He doesn't say a word. But he doesn't have to say it. I see the truth in his eyes. And like so much else, it hurts like hell. He knew. When he left that day, he knew I was pregnant.
"Get out," I whisper, that tiny flame of hope flickering…and dying.
"Mina, please," he rasps, his eyes damp. "You have to let me explain."
"No, I really don't," I say, shaking my head as tears burn their way up my throat. "I really, really don't, Grayson. Get out of my office. Now."
"No. Not until you hear me out. I didn't leave you. I didn't even know about her until this morning. I saw you taking her to school. But I wanted to wait for you to tell me," he rasps. "I didn't want to take that from you like every other goddamn thing has been taken from you for the last six years."
"You're the one who took it!" I shout, shoving my way around him to the far side of the desk. I snatch the phone up from the chair where it fell, my hands shaking as I try to dial security. If he won't leave, I'll force him out. I actually have the power to do that here.
"Your goddamn father took it!" he roars.
I snap my head up, my gaze locking with his. "What did you say?"
He snaps his mouth closed, breathing hard as he tucks himself back into his pants. "Fuck."
"What did you just say, Grayson?"
"Nothing. It doesn't fucking matter."
"What do you mean, he took it?"
He holds up his hands, shaking his head. For the first time, he looks…defeated. Broken. "You want me to go, I'll go. I'll give you space to process this shit if that's what you need. But I'm not fucking giving up on us, Mina. I need you to hear me. Whenever you're ready to do that, I'll be waiting. Forever if that's what it takes." His hands shake as he drops them back to his side, reaching into his pocket.
I watch, my throat burning as he pulls out a guitar pick and strides forward, placing it on the edge of my father's desk. "Can you give this to her? It's the only thing I have left from…back then." He swallows hard. "Didn't even remember where I got it, but I never could let it go. I want her to have it."
I glance down at the pick, my heart fracturing. It's the one I bought him the day we got married. "Grayson, I…"
"I'd like to see her when you're ready," he rasps. "I know you don't believe a goddamn word I'm saying right now, but I'm not a danger to her. I won't try to take her from you. I just want to meet my daughter." His eyes shine with unshed tears. "She looks just fucking like you, Mina. She's perfect."
I nod, my throat so tight I can't speak. If I try, the only thing I'm going to do is sob. My heart is already broken, so why does it feel like it's shattering into pieces all over again right now?
"I'll be around, baby," he says, turning to stride toward the door.
I watch him go, desperate to call him back. To tell him…I don't know! My body is still numb from the orgasm. My mind is a tangle of terror and grief and pain. I don't know what I want to say. I just know that watching him leave feels like losing him all over again. That has to mean something, right?
"I love you forever," he whispers, slipping out of my office before I can figure it out.
I drop into my chair, sobbing.
"I have something for you, lovebug," I murmur, kneeling beside Brinley's bed once she's tucked in for the night. We went for ice cream after school. I intended to give her the guitar pick then but couldn't bring myself to do it with a parlor full of people around us.