Total pages in book: 214
Estimated words: 199879 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 999(@200wpm)___ 800(@250wpm)___ 666(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199879 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 999(@200wpm)___ 800(@250wpm)___ 666(@300wpm)
“Saint—”
“Stay the fuck away, Ashtyn!” I shout, getting irritated.
Letting out a huff, she spins around to leave when I speak. “I’m leaving tomorrow and will be gone for two days.”
Her hand pauses on the doorknob.
“Haidyn will be here with you,” I tell her, wanting her to know she’ll have a babysitter so she doesn’t get any crazy ideas.
Her body stiffens, and then she yanks it open and storms out.
FIFTY-SIX
ASHTYN
I have a half brother. That new information doesn’t surprise me. What does is that he’s connected to Whitney and Laikyn. I spent an hour with her yesterday when she and Tyson showed up.
She didn’t seem to have much information for me, but she was willing to tell me what she knew, and that was more than Saint and the others have done.
She asked if I remembered the girls who went missing. When I told her yes, she informed me that Luke and my mother were involved, and that the guys think that’s why my mother was killed. It makes sense. My brother said that he was being framed. Maybe that was Luke trying to blame it on Adam. But that brings up another question—how was Whitney involved? I spent a lot of time with her and never noticed anything. But would I have? A lot happened in my life that I still hid from Whitney.
Then I find out that Laura and Whitney are both here at Carnage. They’ve been right underneath me all this time, and I had no idea. I hated Laura, but that doesn’t mean I think she deserves to be down there. Did I agree with the things she did and said to me? No. But I know the Lords, and maybe they controlled her? Maybe the Spade fathers forced her to make me do my sessions? And she knew things that no one else did…if not for her, my life would have gone much differently, and I’m not sure that would have been better. If I had stayed here and told Saint I was pregnant and it wasn’t his child, me and the baby wouldn’t have had a chance. That’s all I wanted—to give my child a chance at a better life. I even failed at that.
The truth is I don’t know what to think anymore. At this point, I’m not sure what is up and what is down.
Besides my mother, I don’t know what happened to my family. Hell, as far as I know, Adam is down in the basement as well. Would they do that to one of their brothers? Yes. I have no doubt. If you don’t honor your oath, you’re punished. It’s that simple.
It was great seeing Elli. I was never close with her, but I remember seeing her when my mom would drag me to her sessions with Laura. Her practice was out of her home, and I’d see her often while sitting in the hallway when my mother would need a moment alone with Laura.
My mother told me to stay away from her because she was a bad influence. I'm not sure why she thought that, but we never hung out. She was four years younger than me.
I sit on the floor in my bedroom, just staring at the damn clock that continues to tick loudly. I’ve been in here since I stormed out on Saint yesterday in their office. I’m trying to clear my mind and figure out where I go from here, but I know the answer. Nowhere.
We took vows, I willingly became his wife, but I will rot here as his prisoner. He hasn’t even given me my ring back. I know he saw that I was wearing it at Glass when he showed up. And I took it off later that night before I got in the shower. He was lying to me here when we got into our fight after New York. He doesn’t care. He’s a Lord; he’s been trained what to say and when to say it to make you feel special or hated. And like he said, I’m easily manipulated.
Nothing has changed. And it never will. He’ll keep shit from me, and I’ll do the same to him. Sometimes, the truth just doesn’t matter.
The seconds on the clock move ever so slowly, the sound so loud it makes me cringe with each movement.
Tick, tick, tick, a constant reminder that there is no end in sight. Just an endless amount of torture. I’m in a loveless marriage, I get ignored, I get used…it’s a typical marriage in our world.
You’re nothing special. My mother had said to me. I hate that she was right more than anything.
At least when I first got here, he fucked me. As stupid as it sounds, it made me feel useful. Now he’s ignoring me. That’s my punishment.
Tick, tick, tick. The clock mocks me, and my watery eyes look up at it. Tick, tick, tick. Second by second, I sit here in a room and his is down the hall. I haven’t even been inside of it. I might as well be locked up in the basement. At least then, I’d know where I belong.