Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 44256 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 221(@200wpm)___ 177(@250wpm)___ 148(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 44256 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 221(@200wpm)___ 177(@250wpm)___ 148(@300wpm)
“No, I didn’t. I’m still interested, mind you, but it didn’t feel like the right time.”
Aithar gives me a curious look. “Why not?”
I try to phrase things carefully, because I know they’re his friends. He’s close to them, and I’m a stranger. “If I showed up immediately and the only thing I was interested in was getting the name of a bounty hunter, that would seem like I was betraying you. That I was using you. It would be obvious and I didn’t want to give them something else to tease you about.”
His expression grows soft. “You were defending me?”
“I mean…” If he wants to see it that way, I guess? I shrug, feeling a little uncomfortable. “It seemed like the right thing to do.”
“It is the second time you have defended me on this day, then. My jaw dropped when you told Salvotor that you were worthy of me being in love with you instantly. You were magnificent.”
His adoring tone makes me want to squirm a little. “You’re praising me too much. Someone should have shut him up and I did.”
“Salvotor runs his mouth. He means no harm by it. He is only thoughtless around strangers. If he knew it harmed me, he would feel terrible.” Aithar relaxes in the seat of the air-sled and focuses his attention on piloting it. It lifts into the air easily, far smoother than when I use my sled, and soon enough, we’re zooming off through the darkening skies.
It’s a short hop to my farm, but even so, the silence in the vehicle feels like it needs to be filled. I speak up. “Your friends tease you a lot.”
“We all tease like siblings,” he agrees. “When Ruthie and Kazex were first together, the teasing for them was merciless. Kaz had been in love with her for quite some time, and it was our way of showing our joy that they were a couple. Salvotor is teased because he is bad at being with people, but he was alone for much of his early life. We tease him to help him learn when he is acting inappropriately. And Dopekh is teased because, like me, he falls in love easily, and he always gets hurt by it. I suppose we are reminding him that we care for him, in a way.”
I guess I get it, but I’ve been alone on my farm for a long time, too. Maybe like Salvotor, I don’t know how to read the room. “So you and Dopekh both fall in love easily?”
He nods, his gaze on the skies, and yet I still get the impression that Aithar’s very aware of me and my reactions. “We a’ani are kept on suppressants when we are enslaved. Our emotions are deadened and our cocks are useless. It is to keep us obedient, and because we are used to it, we do not realize it is a bad thing. When Lord Straik freed us, he stopped the suppressants, and we felt…everything. It was overwhelming, but it was also wonderful. I would never go back to being numb like I was before. I do not mind strong emotions. I enjoy them, even if I get my heart broken.”
I mull this. In a strange way, it makes sense. If you go through life numb and then start feeling things when you see a pretty girl—or man—of course you’d think of it as love. It must feel exhilarating each time. No wonder he and Dopekh get addicted to it. “So you fall in love, and you get your heart broken, over and over. Does that mean I’m not special?”
The words come out teasing, and I surprise myself by saying it. It’s…flirty.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Aithar’s eyes widen and his gaze flicks to me, even as he circles over my painted barn, then eases the sled down onto my front yard. He’s silent until it’s safely landed and the humming, quiet engine shuts off. Then he turns and looks at me, his expression serious and his gaze focused. “You misunderstand me, Michaela. I make my heart vulnerable each time I fall in love, but it is not truly love. My heart may be offered, but unless it is taken, it means nothing. We a’ani are cloned because among all things, we are an incredibly loyal race of people. When we love, we love for life. I cannot truly be in love unless I am loved back.”
Don’t say it. Don’t say it.
Don’t say it, Michaela. Don’t.
“What if I loved you back?”
Shit. Why can I not resist flirting with this man?
Aithar’s dark eyes are the warmest, softest things I’ve ever seen, and his adoring gaze is like being wrapped in a fuzzy blanket. “I would show you my devotion every day. I would worship your body with everything I am.”