Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 109562 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 548(@200wpm)___ 438(@250wpm)___ 365(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109562 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 548(@200wpm)___ 438(@250wpm)___ 365(@300wpm)
Just as I open my mouth to admit the truth, she says, “How silly of me. Yes, of course. You met a man.” Her azure blue eyes sparkle. “You fell in love.” Taking my hand in both of hers, she continues, “That’s a wonderful thing, my dear child, maybe the most important thing in life. Don’t throw a chance at happiness away for the sake of money. Always follow your passion.” She lets me go and taps her chest. “Follow your heart, and everything else will fall into place. You can get married and have a family as well as a career. These days, there are many solutions and options for women who want both.”
I want to tell her how wrong she is, but I can’t do that without risking her life. Instead, I give her a weak smile before picking up my mug and hiding my face behind it. If she knew the extent of the trouble I’m in, she’d not only be disappointed but she’d also never look at me with the same pride and approval again.
When Livy starts asking questions about how Saverio and I met, I excuse myself, saying I have to be up early for work, which isn’t a lie.
Back in my own apartment, I let the façade drop. The talk with Livy served as a stark reminder of everything that’s wrong in my life. There are too many things I can’t fix, serious things with life-altering consequences. For once, I long for my mom, wishing she could just be that to me—a mother who loves her child unconditionally, no matter how badly I messed up.
Making an impulsive decision, I call to speak to my mom, but the nurse says she’s already asleep. The brand-new phone in my hand mocks me when I end the call. I can’t forget who gave it to me or why. If I had money, I would’ve thrown it through the window. As it is, I don’t know how I’m going to make ends meet until my next paycheck arrives.
Between my mom’s housing and medical bills, there’s not enough money to cover our expenses. My bank account is in overdraft, and my credit card is in the red.
The nagging worry that’s forever at the forefront of my mind ties my stomach into knots. How will I be able to support a child if I can’t even support myself? I settle on the sofa with my dinosaur laptop and work on my budget spreadsheet, removing every cost I can, but I only end up doing myself short while still having a negative balance. My financial situation isn’t going to improve until my probation period is over and the increase that will come with my permanent position kicks in.
With that thought, fear sets in. Now that they know I’m pregnant, I’m scared about what will happen tomorrow. If Ms. Price spills the beans, they may decide to terminate my employment because I lied in my application. They may demand a doctor’s letter stating how far along I am, and then the numbers will speak for themselves. I’m three months pregnant, but I only signed the contract a month ago.
Shutting the laptop with a sigh, I rub a hand over my belly.
“Don’t worry, Baby. I’m going to take good care of you.”
I won’t fail my baby. I can’t. I’ll never submit her to the childhood I had. I just have to pray that Mr. Lewis’s successor will be so happy with the quality of my work that he’ll look past my unethical behavior. I’ll explain that I was scared they wouldn’t employ me if they knew I was pregnant. If I want to prove my worth, I can’t be washed out and tired in the morning. I better go to bed.
I make to stand only to grip the armrest of the sofa as a fresh bout of dizziness hits me. It takes a little longer than this morning before my legs are stable enough to carry me to the bathroom where I wash my face and brush my teeth.
I’m about to undress when the doorbell rings. My stomach contracts into a tight ball.
It’s not Saverio.
He wouldn’t ring the bell. He’d use his key.
What if it’s the police? After what happened, I can’t not call Saverio.
I tiptoe to the door and peer through the peephole. A man wearing a delivery company cap stands on the threshold, carrying a large box.
“Can I help you?” I call through the door.
“I have a delivery for Ms. Brennan.”
“Who let you in?”
“The landlady.” He swifts the box in his arms. “Ms. Summers or something. She left just as I arrived.”
That would be Livy going to the bar for her habitual nightcap.
I open the door a crack.
He looks me up and down. “Ms. Brennan?”
“That’s me.”
“This is heavy.” He flashes me with a grin. “Where would you like me put it?”