Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 124971 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 625(@200wpm)___ 500(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 124971 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 625(@200wpm)___ 500(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
He shook all over in his wheelchair. I took the joint from his fingers and put it out, alert now. If he’d killed the woman, I was 100 percent telling the authorities.
“You chased her by car while you were high?” I repeated. “Were you competing for the Dumb-Fuck Award?”
He nodded grimly. “She sped up to escape me. I didn’t want to give up. I thought if I could just explain myself, she’d forgive me. We were going to go away, you see. She’d finally convinced me to move to California and assume my responsibilities. Start a family. I mean, we already had a family, I guess. A son. His granddad took care of him while we were working at this adventure park.”
I was beginning to feel very, very sick.
Either this was a tasteless joke made by Duffy and Charlie that they were going to pay for, or today just became the shittiest day of my entire existence.
Staring at him, I said nothing.
Charlie looked me straight in the eye. I held his gaze. I saw the guilt there. And it killed me just like it killed her. The woman I didn’t remember and would never meet again.
“She veered off the road trying to take a turn. Her car totaled right then and there in front of my eyes. I pulled off onto the shoulder of the road and ran to her. She was still alive when the paramedics were called. She told me to take care of our son. She really wanted to get her act together and become a mom to him.”
I didn’t move. Didn’t even blink. We did look alike. Fuck, we looked so alike it was comical. But when you meet a complete stranger who looks like you in a huge-ass country, in a city of multi-digit-million people, your mind doesn’t immediately go to Maybe he’s my dad. Yippee-yay, can we go to Disneyland together?
“Riggs?”
“What?” I couldn’t fucking breathe.
“This happened in Denali National Park. In Alaska.”
I stood up. If I didn’t leave now, I would punch him in the face. I was halfway to the sliding doors when I turned around and stormed back toward him. He stayed in the same spot in his wheelchair, looking like a miniature LEGO version of the man I’d met only a month ago.
“She wanted to come back to me?” That was my first question. Maybe that was what had been bothering me the most about my origin story. How a mother could turn her back on her son for a steady dick.
He managed to nod, just barely. Whatever was wrong with him, it put a huge strain on his muscles.
“Yes. She talked about you nonstop. Went to visit you every few weeks. She wanted us to be a family. Me, I was the asshole. I’d only seen you once. Your grandfather dragged me by the ear to meet you. He thought it’d make a difference, make me change my ways. You were tiny and angry and fragile. Colicky and very red. I took one look at you and figured it was too big a responsibility, too hard a job.”
A revolted smirk found my lips. “And I guess you extended that notion to after she died too. You never came back for me.”
Charlie’s skin budded with goose bumps. “Not for lack of wanting to. You don’t have to believe me—hell, I don’t expect you to—but that’s not why I didn’t come for you.”
“Why then?” I was yelling now. I needed to tone it down before I got kicked out of a hospital for abusing a patient. A dying patient.
“Shame. Embarrassment. Seeing your grandfather doing my job so much better than I ever could. Knowing deep down that you were better off without me.” He stared at the ground. “I took your mother away from you. And I treated her goddamn poorly. I only knew what you looked like from pictures. It seemed insane to go to California and rip you apart from the only constancy and stability you’d ever known. Your grandfather loved you. You were his pride and joy. I thought I was doing both of you a favor.”
How did a conversation about a fucking joint escalate to this? Charlie Black Mirrored my ass to oblivion. And yes, I used Black Mirror as a verb.
“Yeah? Well, thanks a bunch.” I bowed mockingly. “Your sainthood awaits at the counter in heaven. Make sure to collect it—you get great discounts for your halo and wings.”
He winced. “You have every right to be angry.”
“I’m not angry.” I laughed. “I’m delighted. You’re right. I wouldn’t have loved spending my life under your wing. After all, I could’ve ended up like you. A washed-out, lonely, soon-to-be-former hunk with no family, barely any friends, no ties. Oh, wait a minute.” I pressed my finger to my lips, frowning. “That’s exactly what I am right now. Well, well. At least you didn’t have to watch it happen. Don’t worry, Granddad was kind enough to drop dead only after I was old enough to go to a private prep school, so I skipped the whole foster-family routine. Of course, I had to stay on school grounds every Christmas and Thanksgiving because I had no one to claim me.”