Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 129571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 648(@200wpm)___ 518(@250wpm)___ 432(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 648(@200wpm)___ 518(@250wpm)___ 432(@300wpm)
“I love you, too, Jasmine.” I slipped inside of her, and my whole body throbbed hard with each inch I sank.
“Mmmm, it always feels so good going in.”
“And how does it feel when it leaves?”
“It just makes me want you more.” She backed onto my cock, rocking with my rhythm. Her ass cheeks slapped against my thighs. Water gushed. Candlelight flickered as shadows danced along blue and brown tiles. The music of her moans and our bodies’ melodies was nothing new in this space.
But.
Something was off.
I could taste the hard truth on my tongue.
“Oh, Chase,” Jasmine moaned.
And from then on,
with every further moan,
I pretended like everything was going to be okay.
We came together,
and again I told myself that it would all be fine.
It would all work out.
But.
Lies were always easier to swallow.
Chapter 4
Jasmine
Dressed in jogging clothes and standing in front of the bed, I stared at my sleeping Chase. God, I’m going to miss you. Naked, he lay on his back with his sculpted arms splayed across the bed.
Even in his sleep, he dominated everything.
The more I gazed at him, the more I cried. He was pale flesh over chiseled muscle, an expanse of masculine sexuality encased in a huge ego that had been cracking little-by-little with our love.
Now it was all over.
This is going to hurt him, but there’s no way around it. I can’t think of any other way to save us.
Once the snores came, I slipped out of bed and got dressed. I didn’t need to pack. He’d bought everything in this condo from my clothes and jewelry to every piece of furniture. I couldn’t take it, and even if he tried to give the stuff to me, it would be too many memories.
Usually a light sleeper, he’d exhausted himself with my body. All night, we made love—from the bathtub’s bubbling edge to the silk sheets of our bed, on the kitchen countertop to finally on the balcony overlooking Oshane city. A sore ache bellowed through my body. He’d put his name and scent all over me.
And now I would say good-bye.
Should I leave a letter? When I left that message in India, he didn’t like it. Fuck! He won’t like this either way. At least I can let him know that it wasn’t anything he did. After a while, he would understand.
I tiptoed out of the bedroom, right as small rays of sunlight peeked through the condo’s hallway. Most of the walls were huge windows.
When we first checked out the place, I thought I would feel too exposed to the world. Once we moved in, I realized that we were far enough away for no one to see us, unless of course it was a peeping tom. Chase’s security was decent enough, where I didn’t stress about that too much.
Nevertheless, the sun rose in the sky, and instead of sneaking away in darkness, I had to face the truth of my ugliness right in the light, for all to see.
I hate you, Benny. I hate you.
In the kitchen, Chase’s cook messed around with pots and didn’t notice me slip by the doorway. She was a small Cuban woman named Maylin and made the best ropa vieja. The braised skirt steak always swam in a flavorful tomato sauce that got me addicted at first bite. The rice fluffed. The chili peppers perfectly merged with the cloves of garlic. Chase had spent months finding the perfect person for us, knowing how much of a food snob I was.
Who could ever take his place? No one. I couldn’t even consider anyone else.
I continued to his small office, closed the door behind me, found a pad of paper on his desk, and started the letter.
Dear Chase,
I ...
The pen dangled between my fingers.
Dear Chase,
I’m sorry.
A shiver of fear ran through me. So many things went through my mind. What would this do to him, after losing Lucy? He didn’t have a lot of people he could turn to. What would happen to him? Was it my heart or ego’s thinking that his life would collapse without my love?
I sighed.
Dear Chase,
I’m sorry. I know Benny. He will kill you. I can’t let that happen. Our love is not worth your death. Our love is not worth other people’s deaths. Our love ...
I lost it right there.
More tears fell.
And it was that ugly, choking cry,
the one you only did alone,
when just the shadows witnessed the breakdown,
when you just couldn’t keep it in anymore,
and no one was around to judge,
or point,
or tell another soul,
or kick me,
while I was already down on the ground.
My face scrunched up into distorted expressions. The pen fell from my hand. I hugged myself, and prayed for the strength to walk away.
Don’t be so selfish that you’d lose him. Rather I love him from afar, on the TV screen and in magazines, than lose him from the world forever.