Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 138541 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 554(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138541 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 554(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
“I couldn’t tell you, I…” He moves towards me cautiously. “I’d have had to tell you the whole story.”
“Please,” I snarl. “You could have dropped the box in the sink, or put it in the bin and made me think I’d lost it. There were so many sneaky ways you could have made it so that I’d need a new pack.”
“I didn’t think…”
“Stop lying to me!” I cry, my hands going to my head as panic sinks in. “Just please…” I face him, my eyes streaming with tears, my hands now slack by my sides. “Go away. I don’t want to see you anymore.”
“Gwen… It wasn’t like that. I never even thought…”
I storm past him, my exhausted body telling me I’ve had enough. There’s just too much to handle. I’m surprised my brain hasn’t shut down.
“Please, Gwen, I swear…”
I stop at the bottom of the stairs with my back to him. “We’re leaving.” I wipe away my tears angrily.
“No you’re not,” he says, grabbing the back loop of my jeans. “You’re not listening… you’re not…”
“I’m done listening to you Nathan!” I sob, turning to face him. “I’m done. I can’t physically or emotionally take anymore.”
“Then let me take care of you. Go lie down; I’ll bring you a drink and you can relax.”
Is he listening? Can he not see the damage he’s done? “We’re going.”
“I won’t lose you, Gwen, please! It’s not what you think, I…”
“Take your hands off me, or I swear to God I’ll scream. I’m trying, really trying to be mature about this. I’m trying to be calm about this, but if you don’t release me this second, you will regret it.”
He lets go and I ascend the stairs, taking two at a time in an effort to get to the room and get packed before he can stop me.
I feel sick. I can’t believe he’s done this!
“I didn’t do this on purpose, not consciously,” Nathan whispers from the doorway. “Please don’t go.”
“Whatever we had, whatever we were,” I pile the clothes, which Nathan must have put away after throwing them all over my bedroom, back into the same suitcase as last night, or this morning, whichever way you look at it. “It’s gone.”
“No it hasn’t.” He denies, taking a small step into the room. “We love each other. We’ve been through a lot together. We can get through this.”
“I don’t want us to get through it,” I sniff, zipping up the case before pushing past him and making my way into the nursery. “Honestly Nathan, at this point, I never want to see another Weston male for as long as I live, and even then it’ll be too soon.”
“You’re upset; you don’t mean that.”
I grab the bag Sasha packed for Dillan the night before and sling it over my shoulder. Nathan blocks the exit, his hands gripping the doorframe.
“Move,” I breathe. “Please, just move.”
“Don’t leave. Please… don’t leave.”
“I can’t stay.” I take a step closer to him. “I can’t be with you. I can’t trust you and I can’t forgive you.”
He grabs my shoulders and his desperate eyes come to me. “That’ll come with time. I know I’ve been stupid. I’ve made so many bad choices, but it’s not a lie when I say that I love you. You have no idea what you’ve saved me from. Before you I was nothing… my life was meaningless.”
“Move,” I beg, trying to duck under his arm. “Let me go.”
“No. I promised you I’d never let you go again. I’m not letting you, not this time. We can get through this.”
“We can’t,” I mutter, shoving against his chest.
“We can.”
“We can’t.”
“It might seem like that right now, but it’ll get better. Just like after Caleb, you healed…”
God, why won’t he just listen? “I don’t want to get better with you.”
“I’ll give you space,” he says hopefully. “I’ll stay out of your way until you’re ready to talk, ready to accept me back into your life.”
“It won’t work.”
“It will,” he insists. “You’ll see, it will work. Don’t do this…”
“I don’t love you anymore,” I shout, feeling my body deflate with defeat at the same time as his does.
“You’re upset,” he grits out through clenched teeth. “You don’t just stop loving somebody…”
“I thought so too.” I look into his almost chocolate browns and try to feel something, anything, but get nothing. “But I don’t. I don’t even hate you. I feel nothing.”
“You’ve had a shock. You’re grieving,” he tries again, gripping my face between his hands.
“No. I’m sorry Nathan, but it’s gone. Everything has gone. This isn’t grief or shock or anything else. You’ve done this.” I exhale a shuddering breath. “I don’t want to see you anymore.”
He bites on his lower lip to stop it from quivering. “Please… Gwen. I need you.”
“And I needed you,” I whisper, grabbing my suitcase and carrying it down the stairs. “Can I use your car? I don’t want to have to call my mum.”