Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 123155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
She nodded, her breath catching. Within seconds, her hand had found the side of my face, cupping my cheek, and I leaned up slightly, knowing what the gesture meant. Shuddering, her body strung tight as a wire, she came in pulses around me.
I refused to follow behind her as she relaxed beneath me. Instead, as her eyes found mine, I grinned. “Again,” I ordered, rolling my hips forward.
A quiet sound came from down the hall and my ears reddened in shame, but it wasn’t enough for me to stop the memory flowing through my mind. Eventually, I must have crashed because I found myself in a familiar dream, one I hadn’t had for years. I was on my back, staring through tree branches at a powder blue sky dotted with clouds. I knew that I needed to get up, but I couldn’t. It was like I was encased in cement and the only part of my body that I had any control over was my eyes. I moaned as the sounds of chatter and laughter were drowned out by the sound of gunfire. I needed to get up. I had to help them. I jerked as the sky went blurry with tears. The sound of a baby crying made me panic and I tried to roll over onto my stomach, but none of my limbs would move. There wasn’t supposed to be a baby there.
I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart thumping so hard that I could feel it in my ears.
“I’m sorry,” Cecilia said from the doorway of my room. “I thought she might settle down if I walked around with her, but I didn’t realize your door was open.”
“What’s wrong with her?” I asked blearily, leaning up on my elbow.
“Nothing that I can tell,” she said. She sounded close to tears herself. “She’s just pissed. Every time I sit down, she starts back up again.” She was swaying from side to side and the baby’s cries turned to whimpers as she spoke.
“Why don’t I take her for a little bit?” I said. I wasn’t going back to sleep anyway. “You can get some rest.”
“No, that’s okay,” she said as I sat up and threw the bedding back. Her words trailed off and her eyes widened.
I realized way too late that I was sitting there in nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. Thank Christ, my dream had completely obliterated any erection I’d had from my preferred method of falling asleep.
“I’ll grab some pants,” I mumbled, pushing up from the bed.
“Don’t cover up on my account,” Cecilia said jokingly, though she sounded exhausted. “Jesus, I didn’t even know you were capable of that.”
“Of what?” I asked, glancing down to double-check that I wasn’t sporting wood as I pulled a pair of sweats out of my dresser.
“That.” She waved her hand at me, her eyes focused on the tattoo of her name on my chest before she looked away. “I didn’t even know your body could make that much muscle.”
I laughed. “It couldn’t when I was nineteen.”
“Steroids?” she asked in mock understanding. “How’re your balls?”
“I don’t do steroids and my balls are fine,” I shot back, striding toward her. “Boob job?” I asked as I took the baby from her arms.
She gasped and her jaw dropped.
“Actually,” she replied, crossing her arms over her chest, “breastfeeding.”
I just nodded as I settled the baby against me, gently rubbing her back.
“I can’t believe you said that,” she said, shaking her head.
“Hey,” I murmured. “You opened that particular door asking about my balls.”
“I was joking!”
“So was I.”
Cecilia stared at me for a moment and then snorted. “Jesus,” she said with a sigh, her voice wobbling. Using both hands to comb her hair back from her face, she tilted her head toward the ceiling. “I’m so fucking tired.”
I didn’t know if it was the memory I’d stupidly conjured up or the fact that she seemed so vulnerable that made me do it, but I reached for her, wrapping my hand around the back of her neck to pull her in, tucking her against my chest next to the baby. I refused to think about all the shit between us, the history, or the fact that she’d be gone the next day.
Chapter 5
Cecilia
Trembling, I pressed my forehead against Mark’s chest. Somehow, without even knowing myself, he’d known exactly what I needed.
I was independent to a fault. I never asked for help if I didn’t have to, and I handled anything that came my way. But I’d never appreciated a hug more than I did at that moment.
We stood there holding each other for a long time. Mark’s hand didn’t stray from my neck, and I didn’t move my hands from where I’d placed them on his back. He rocked us slowly from side to side, his lips pressed to the top of my head, and eventually, I felt myself start to relax into him more and more.