Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 84864 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 424(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84864 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 424(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Doctor Watson nodded, understanding flashing in her eyes. “That’s definitely your choice, even if I’d advise against it.”
I smiled at her. I knew she meant well, but I couldn’t give myself the hope. Especially with how little the movement was. And how? What had caused that millimeter difference? Maybe the scan just didn’t capture it all or maybe it did shrink on its own. It wouldn’t make a difference in the end. Death, I’d accepted. Hope wasn’t something I could survive.
“Was there anything else you needed to talk to me about today, Grace?”
I blinked out of my thoughts, nodding. “Yes,” I said. “Even though I’m not getting treatment, I still want to be educated on my situation. I remember certain things about what happened to my mother, and I’ve Googled some stuff, but I figured you’re a much better source than a search engine.”
“I’ll do my best,” she said. “Shoot.”
“What other kind of side effects can I expect over the next few months? The headaches and nausea I understand, but could there be other…things?” I swallowed around the lump in my throat.
Like hearing voices or hallucinating about a sexy man sinking his teeth into me and then feeding me his blood in return?
She sighed, laying her palm flat over my chart. “Yes, there are a multitude of side effects that come with your condition. You could experience blurred vision, dizziness, the inability to remember common words, even seizures in some cases.”
Icy fear crackled down my spine at the thought of losing total control of my body for moments at a time.
“Anything else?” I asked, unable to say the word aloud.
She tilted her head. “Is there something specific you’re concerned about?”
“Sort of,” I said, and nearly choked on the lie I was about to tell. “Like I said, I can’t remember everything about my mother and what she experienced, but I think I remember her having hallucinations?”
Doctor Watson nodded. “That is a possibility, yes. But it’s rare.”
My heart sank to the pit of my stomach.
Ajax wasn’t real.
I’d had a suspicion all along because he’d been too perfect, his appearance in my life too perfect. Sexy, strong, and protective. Kind and mysterious and a fantastic listener. Funny and surprising and incredibly perceptive. All the qualities I found attractive in a partner, and I’d put them in a brain mixer and blended him up.
The certainty made me feel like the floor was disintegrating beneath my feet.
“If you have experienced hallucinations or start to, it’s imperative that you get here straight away. We’d need to hospitalize you for your own safety,” she said, drawing me back to reality.
I shook my head, feigning a smile. “I haven’t,” I said, and maybe it wasn’t a total lie. Yeah, Ajax was most likely something I created in my mind, but I didn’t have proof one way or another. And besides, I hadn’t hurt myself or anyone else while hallucinating him. That had to count for something.
“That’s good to hear, Grace,” she said, rising from her seat. “Your meds are downstairs and ready for you at the pharmacy.” She held the door open for me, and I stepped into the hallway.
“Thank you,” I said. “Again, for everything.”
She smiled softly at me. “I’m always here,” she said. “If you change your mind or need anything else.”
“I appreciate that,” I said, then turned down the hallway.
I hit the pharmacy, shoved my pills in my purse, and headed outside. Appointments with Doctor Watson were always in the evening because she worked the graveyard shift, but I didn’t mind. I loved inhaling the night air as I stepped outside on the hospital grounds. The red brick buildings sat among large green trees, the moon shining high above, making the place seem more welcoming than it likely should, seeing that it was a place surrounded by death.
I pulled out my cell, clicking on the Lyft app. I’d already given my car to Maria when we’d chatted last week. One of the teenagers under her care had just gotten his first job and needed the transportation, and I could easily Lyft anywhere I needed to go. It made my heart feel a tad lighter just to know it was going to someone who really needed it.
I paused a few steps down the pathway, a shiver of apprehension bursting on the back of my neck. I glanced around, unable to shake the feeling of being watched. There were a few other patients going in and out of the building, or doctors and nurses and interns, but none of them were paying any attention to me.
Weird. I shook of the sensation, telling myself it was likely just another symptom of the tumor, and kept walking.
Grace.
I gasped as the sound of Ajax’s voice filled my head, the sound so jarring I nearly dropped my phone. I looked up from it, instinctively following the warm sensation I felt pulsing around his voice in my mind, and turned around.