Total pages in book: 194
Estimated words: 187754 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 939(@200wpm)___ 751(@250wpm)___ 626(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 187754 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 939(@200wpm)___ 751(@250wpm)___ 626(@300wpm)
But on its heels, carving a hole into my stomach and filling it with dread is the question that keeps me frozen.
What if I fail?
I obviously won’t be around if Bane wakes up. How the hell can I keep him from hurting her?
“I can’t control him,” I try to explain while my stomach churns. “No one can. He’s a kill switch in Zeke’s mind, and once you flip it, there is no taking it back.”
“Then I guess we better keep Zeke safe.” Removing my hand from her chest, she places her palm flat against mine for the contact she seems to need as much as I do. “Any more nose bleeds?”
“No.” It’s a lie. The nose bleeds are not only becoming more frequent but they’re also accompanied by migraines.
“Seth…don’t lie. I don’t like it.”
“Okay.”
Nodding, Aurelia flips my hand over, and her gaze zeroes in on a similar scar on the back of my hand. “Tell me how you got this,” she demands while softly tracing the raised skin with her finger.
“You’re full of questions today.”
“Seth.”
“The same way I got this one,” I say while pointing out the three-inch scar high on Zeke’s throat near his jaw. “I tried to kill Zeke. Bane stopped me.”
“He stopped you?” she exclaims. “How?”
“He overpowered me, took control of Zeke’s left hand, and stabbed me in the right with the same knife I tried to use to cut Zeke’s throat open. The knife went through the kitchen table, and I had to wait for Khalil to find me and free me.”
The shattered look in her eyes says that if Aurelia could, she’d weep for me. The worry that I might still want to off Zeke swims in her eyes, but she doesn’t allow herself to ask, and since she told me not to lie to her, I say nothing as well.
“I guess that explains the gouge in the kitchen table, but wait…the two of you were awake…at the same time? You can do that?”
Aurelia’s gaze is a cross between wonder and weirded out.
“Sure. It hurts a hell of a lot worse than being stabbed—quite literally like being split in two, so it’s not something we do for party tricks.”
“Why did you try to kill Zeke?”
“Because…” I have to swallow past the knot in my throat before I can say another word. “Being in his head feels like I never left Isaac’s table. He’s in pain all the time, except I can’t help him. There’s nothing I can do to bear it for him. Nothing except making sure he never has to feel anything ever again.”
“Seth…”
“It’s fine.”
“No. It’s not. Maybe it’s a good thing I’m staying because the first thing I’d do if I ever went home is find Zeke’s brother and make him wish he’d never been born.”
I smirk at that. “If anyone can do it, Sunshine. It’s you.”
She peers up at me. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
Aurelia chews her lip like she thinks I might regret it once she asks me whatever is on her mind. “Are you sure those thoughts were Zeke’s and not yours?”
I stagger back a step, breaking our connection. “What?”
“I don’t want to upset you. It’s just that…it sounds like you suffered just as much as Zeke did. Maybe even more. Everyone’s worried about Zeke and what Isaac did to him, but what about you?”
“What about me? I’m just a door in Ezekiel’s head that he pulls open when he can’t deal.”
“Not to me. You’re real to me, Seth.” Aurelia sighs and shakes her head with a somber look in her eyes. “It’s just not fair.”
“What’s not fair, beautiful?”
“Zeke had a mom and a dad, he has friends, he had a childhood, he has memories outside of the cult, but what about you? What do you have?”
I stare at this beautiful girl and wonder how she still doesn’t know what she means to me. “I have you,” I tell her openly. “And you love me. I don’t care about the rest. Just don’t go, Sunshine, and I’ll be whole. Stay for me, and I’ll stay for you.”
“I won’t go, but Seth…I want you to live whether I’m around or not. You can’t put this on me—”
I wrap my hand around her neck, and she doesn’t blink an eye when I tighten my hold. “Ever, Aurelia,” I say through gritted teeth. “You can’t leave me. You promise?”
“Yes, Seth. I promise.”
That damn mouth of hers drives me crazy even when she’s being sweet, so I don’t hesitate to devour it. At some point, I back her against the wall and sneak my hand into her leggings. Aurelia’s not wearing panties, so there’s nothing keeping me from petting her sweet pussy until she purrs. I’m still lazily toying with her clit when Thorin walks in. I can tell it’s him because he brings his fucked up, hating-ass mood into the room with him.