Total pages in book: 152
Estimated words: 155037 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 775(@200wpm)___ 620(@250wpm)___ 517(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 155037 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 775(@200wpm)___ 620(@250wpm)___ 517(@300wpm)
Loki groaned. “Fuck, I’m making this awkward.”
Remy eyed him. “You’ve got a right. Circumstances are strange.”
Yeah. That was one way of putting it.
“You don’t have to decide everything in a day.”
“Guess not,” Loki replied.
“It’s enough you agreed to share her.”
But was Loki failing in that as well? He wasn’t exactly being inviting to him.
Could two strangers who loved the same woman share her?
“Would help if I knew you better,” Loki said.
“Fair call. Same goes.”
“Let’s share some truths.” He waited for Remy to tell him that it was dumb idea, but the other man just nodded.
Loki was sipping on soda by now. He had a two beer limit when he had to drive. He noticed Remy had switched over to zero percent beers a while back.
Points in his favor.
“All right,” Remy agreed.
“But I’ve gotta say . . . if we do anything she still comes first,” he blurted out.
“In everything,” Remy said firmly.
“There’s a part of me that still wishes she was all mine,” he told him. Fuck, that was kind of wrenched out of him. And he felt like an asshole. But it was the truth.
“You don’t pull punches, huh?” Remy said with a hint of amusement. “Can’t lie and say I haven’t felt that way.” Then he frowned. “But there’s also something that pulls me to you. Not saying it’s attraction. Not sure what exactly it is.”
Okay, Loki kind of understood that.
“And I’m not sure about this sub stuff. Not sure I’ll like it or want it.”
“That’s your right,” Remy said.
“Are you always this agreeable?”
This time he definitely grinned. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“I dunno. I don’t want to be the only volatile, crazy person in this relationship.”
Relationship? Yikes. Did he really just say that?
Remy leaned forward, giving him a firm look. “You are not crazy. And I won’t have you say that about yourself.”
Okay, Loki didn’t know how he felt about this. His heart was racing. His first instinct was to tell him to fuck off, but he squashed it. He was trying to think more before he acted.
And as that initial spark of anger faded, he felt something else . . . something he wasn’t sure of.
“I can call myself what I like.”
“Would you be okay with Isa calling herself crazy? Or a failure? Or stupid?”
“What? Fuck, no! Don’t you dare call her those things.” He scowled at the other man.
“I wasn’t. But if it’s not okay for her, it’s not okay for you. What does that say to her?”
“Is this some sort of ‘if you can’t love yourself how can you love her’ lecture?”
“Nope. No lecture. More of a ‘being honest with yourself and her’ sort of thing. You can’t scold her for something you do to yourself, yeah?”
Right.
Because that would make him a hypocrite.
“Don’t let her hear you say that shit about yourself. It hurts her. And you.”
What about him?
“You’re saying you’re perfect?”
Remy snorted. “Hell, no. Far from it. I’m forty-two years old and never had a relationship last more than six months. Moved around a lot. Can’t settle. Can’t make friends. I don’t let myself get close to anyone.”
“Why?” Loki asked.
“Lost my ma to cancer when I was twelve. Fucking disease had her in its grip for years. Took everything we had to try and fight it. Then my pa had to throw himself into trying to save our ranch. Couldn’t do it. We had to sell all the stock, the horses. Pa had a way with horses. But he was a broken man. We had to move in with my grandfather who he hated. Violent old bastard with a mean streak. Pa died just before I turned seventeen. Car accident. He fell asleep at the wheel.”
“I’m so sorry.” Loki knew the bones of this, of course. But hearing Remy say it, seeing the pain on his face, in his words. It made it worse. “I lost my parents in a car accident too. I was only four so I don’t really remember them. My granddad raised me. He died about ten years ago.”
“He was a good man?” Remy asked.
“The best.”
“I’m glad. Wish mine had been a better person. When I was old enough, I left and never looked back.”
“So you came here not intending to stay long?”
“Yeah, figured a year or two and I’d move on.”
“And now?”
“Never had a reason to stay anywhere before. Seems now I might have two.”
Loki was flabbergasted by that. Him? He couldn’t be a reason that Remy stayed.
That wasn’t . . . they weren’t . . .
But if you do this with him, then you will become tied to him, won’t you?
“Enough truths for tonight?” Remy asked dryly.
“Maybe,” Loki replied with a grin.
Remy nodded. “I’ll head off.”
“You want to come back home? Have a beer there? The girls are getting picked up in half an hour.”