Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
"Once Jurik told me that he could 'hear' the conversations, I told him to keep listening in quietly. To find out what was going on. Basically, to spy." Rachel toys with her daughter's feet, as if she feels the need to constantly touch and fuss over her. "And he's been listening for days now and…it's all good things."
"Good things?" I echo.
Rachel nods. "He entertains them. He talks to them. He encourages them to reach out to us when they're upset or tired, not to use the mind-speech but to actually physically reach out to us, especially the moms. We can't hear them, and sometimes it feels like we're left out." Her expression grows wistful. "And Azar tells them how smart they are. How clever and strong. He's never impatient with them or ugly. No matter what time of day or night they wake him up, he's patient with them and talks to them. I think he doesn't know how to deal with infants, so sometimes his answers are a little puzzled, but he always keeps his mental voice happy and positive and encouraging. And do you know what's completely and utterly terrifying about all of this?"
It doesn't sound terrifying at all to me, actually. It sounds really sweet. It sounds like the Azar I thought I loved.
"They love him," she says. "And they trust him. They trust him so much they're constantly volunteering that he push into their minds. That he take over so they can 'fix' the Rift."
I go still. It feels as if I've been dipped in ice. I can't breathe. "They what?"
"Right? That was my reaction. I freaked out. Jurik had to calm me down. Apparently they volunteer this all the time because they're babies and they don't know any better. I thought this was some shitty plan of his to get them to trust him, and then he'd just waltz into their innocent minds and take over." She shakes her head. "Instead, he's encouraging them to build mental shields. He tells them NOT to give their minds up to anyone, not even him. He's constantly reminding them that they need to be in charge of themselves, and how to protect their minds, and that if something starts fishing around in their heads to tell him and he'll take care of it. He's protecting them, Melina." She seems puzzled. "It's like…he really understands them. He sees them as more than just tools. I know he's enslaved drakoni in the past, and I can't forgive that part, but when I hear how he is with the kids…I feel better. And I just wanted you to know."
I shake my head. "I…don't understand. What does this have to do with me?"
"You've changed him," Rachel says. When I give her a skeptical look, she shakes her head and continues. "I know it sounds like crap, but Jurik and Mhal have both worked with Salorians in the past. They say that they're hard and awful and without a single shred of compassion. That they don't think twice about enslaving the drakoni because they don't think of them as people. Hearing how Azar was with the babies, though…"
I'm not convinced. "He probably knew someone was listening in." It'd be like Azar to “perform,” to be the man people expect him to be, all so he can get ahead. He's sly, my husband. He knows how to manipulate.
But Rachel shakes her head again. "That's just it. Jurik's been listening for a while now and Azar never changes his tune. Not once. He has no idea that Malliope is broadcasting to Jurik what Azar is saying. He genuinely looks out for the children. I just…wanted you to know that you did make a difference. I know the two of you aren't speaking, and I'm not saying you need to forgive him. That's your thing." She shrugs. "But I wanted to let you know that he's not completely without hope."
I don't know what to say to that. It's nice that he has boundaries that he won't cross, but at the same time, I'm not ready to forgive. I'm tired. I'm tired of being the one that always has to bend, always has to accept that Azar has lied to me or done something that I can't abide. I'm tired of being the one that has to give. "I appreciate it," I say to Rachel. "He…didn't send you here to praise him, did he?"
Rachel laughs, an amused look on her face. "He doesn't even like to pretend that I exist. Malliope, he likes, Jurik, he tolerates. Me, he can't stand. He wouldn't ask me to spit on him if he was on fire."
"I just had to check."
"I get it." She gets to her feet, hefting her baby in her arms. "Mostly I just wanted to come by and talk to you. Are you sure you're all right? You look…tired."