Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 142916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 715(@200wpm)___ 572(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142916 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 715(@200wpm)___ 572(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
“You have done one blood exchange with him,” Fenja pointed out as she started toward the kitchen.
Silke followed her. The kitchen was one of Silke’s favorite places to share with her mother. The archways were stone, but the walls were gleaming, polished wood. Silke had modernized their kitchen in terms of appliances, but it retained the old-world, fantasy charm she loved so much. She found comfort there immediately.
“Do you think that even though we exchanged blood only once, that could be the reason I’m feeling so out of control of my emotions?” She pulled the jar of tea down from the cabinet. “What I’m asking is, do you think that’s all it would take? One time?”
“You said he warned you it could happen,” Fenja said, putting the kettle on the stove. “That you might feel grief and think he was deceased.”
Silke bit down on her lower lip with her teeth. “He did say that. I thought it was silly. I don’t know why I didn’t take him at his word. I’ve never felt this way when Tora was unavailable for me to reach.”
“You grew up with her, and it was normal for her to be away during daylight hours,” Fenja pointed out.
“She gave me blood many times and took mine.”
“Clearly, it isn’t the same thing.”
“It isn’t like I can find books to study his culture,” Silke said.
The center island was a large rectangle with three sturdy wooden stools covered in leather on either side of it. She pulled out one of the stools and sat. As a child, she’d spent a great deal of time right there on that stool while her mother made tea and scones. She’d learned the art of tea making, of putting love into each cup so when they talked together at the beginning or end of the day, Fenja would feel as loved as her mother had always made her feel.
“Thank you for last night,” she said. “For telling Benedek about his birth parents. I know you had to really consider before you chose to disclose things to him that might have a negative effect.”
“Children often blame themselves when they have nothing to do with a tragedy. There were times when you were a young child and you’d ask me if you killed your mother. Some child at school would have said something unkind.”
“I’d forget I was adopted. You’re the only mother I’ve ever known. I have my mother’s recordings to me, and you’ve told me about her and her family, but you’re the one who is always there for me. I might love my birth family but from a distance. You have been with me when I had nightmares or if I injured myself. You’ve been the one who saw to my very extensive education.”
Fenja poured water from the kettle into the little teapot and placed a cozy over it. “I made many mistakes. I might be a seer. I may have wanted to be a mother. The truth is I had no idea what I was doing.”
“You did just fine,” Silke defended her.
“Did I? What about your childhood? While other children played with each other, had toys and did naughty things, you were learning to defend yourself. To fight demons and vampires. You had no real childhood, Silke. I didn’t realize for a long time that the only two people you consistently were around were Tora and me. And we both saw to your education nearly every waking minute.”
“I loved my education. If you recall, I was always dragging you to the forest to show you my plants. I lived for those days, my hands in the soil, whipping up remedies for those in the village who were ill or injured. That was important to me, so it was important to you and Tora.”
“We influenced you, Silke. Yes, you needed to learn to fight. You needed to learn the uses of medicinal plants and the secrets of our ancient forest, but you also needed to be a child with friends. I should have made certain you were outdoors playing. Everything you did was to further your education. It wasn’t for you to just have fun.”
“I did have fun,” Silke insisted, feeling Fenja’s distress. “I love my life. I’m proud of my abilities. The truth is my brain demands constant new knowledge, and I have to keep learning in order to keep from making myself crazy. It’s the same with physical activities. I need to move. I like learning and perfecting each defense and offense, seeing if I can improve on it. I’ve never been made to feel in competition with anyone or that I’m not working hard enough.”
Fenja laughed softly. “You worked hard enough at anything you wanted or needed to learn, enough for ten children and then some.”
“That should tell you right there I found joy in it. And what about the creatures in the forest? You and Tora introduced me to them. They were my constant companions growing up. I always knew I had them. I chattered so much I’m sure they warned each other when I was coming.”