Total pages in book: 164
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
“I’m going to ask you a question, and you’re going to answer it honestly. No worrying about how I will react. I want to hear the truth.”
I know what he’s going to ask before he draws another breath. I’ve known him long enough that there are certain things I can predict. I brace myself for it, and for the truth I need to admit.
“She said she loves you. Do you love her? Not that it makes any of this better,” he quickly adds. “Don’t try to pry on my sympathy. Not now. A simple yes or no. Do you love her?”
Right now, it’s the only truth I know. “Yes. I do.”
“Does she know that?”
“No. Neither of us has ever said it until tonight.”
He takes a deep breath, releasing a sigh, then stares down into his glass. “This would all be easier if you had said no.”
“No shit.” His head snaps up, eyes wide. “I’m sorry, but it’s true,” I tell him. “I have spent months — hell, years – fighting my feelings for her. I told myself everything you’ve already accused me of tonight. That I owed it to you to stay away. That I’d be betraying you and turning my back on the only person who ever gave me a chance. It’s weighed on me a little heavier every day for way too long.”
I can’t look at him. I’m no good at sharing my feelings in the first place, but having to look him in the eye while I pour all of this out is too much. I turn toward the window and try to ignore the photos of Tatum that line the sill. They’re from all stages of her life, some of which I remember firsthand. Half the time I was standing behind Callum when he took them – there are even a couple I took myself.
“I was ready to spend the rest of my life fighting it,” I continue. It’s easier to say this with my back to him. “But I couldn’t anymore. I tried, I did. Told myself, time and again, this could never be. Because I’ll never be good enough for her. I’ll never be who she deserves.”
“Do you honestly believe that? This isn’t your way of getting my sympathy, so I don’t —”
“No. I mean it. I don’t deserve her, and I never have. I’ll never be good enough. She’s better off without me.”
He’s quiet for a long time. So long, I look back over my shoulder to gauge his reaction. He’s blank-faced, his drink forgotten. “Well?” I murmur. “What do you have to say? Can I live through this so long as I promise to never see her again? Should I be off-property by the time the sun rises? Let me have it.”
At first, all he does is scowl before emptying his glass and slamming it onto the desk. His hands clench and loosen rhythmically. “I should rip your head off.”
“I know.”
“You betrayed me.”
“I tried not to. I did. And I’m sorry I couldn’t be stronger.”
“Oh, to hell with that.” He waves a hand and snickers. “You can quit the mea culpa shit. It’s not helping.”
“I don’t think you understand.” I turn to face him. “This isn’t a ploy to keep my brains inside my skull, Boss. I mean what I said. I don’t deserve her, and I never will. Which is why you’re the one who heard me say I love Tatum instead of me saying it to her.”
I’ve seen him wear this look before. Sizing me up. Deciding whether I mean it. Usually, he pulls it out while assessing a potential associate. Seeing whether he can trust them… or if he should save some time and turn away.
Or blow them away. Callum's done that, too. I’ve taken part in it sometimes.
It’s those memories that push me to speak. “You’re right. I’m no good for her. I was no good for her the day I first came through the front gate with you. I was a murderer. I killed my own father.”
He blows out an exasperated sigh. “You had no choice, and you saved your mother’s life.”
“She died anyway, didn’t she? Without a husband or a son.” Unfamiliar emotion threatens to clog my throat. “She died alone and made sure I didn’t know so I wouldn’t come back and risk my safety. She was that afraid for me, even after six years.”
I’m still holding my glass, which I slam on the desk the same way he did. “You think I’d subject Tatum to me? I’m poison.”
He drops into his chair and waves a hand toward the leather sofa opposite. “Sit. Now.” His gaze weighs on me as I cross the room and take a seat. “Is this how you feel? Really? You’re poison?”
“All evidence points to that.”
“Yet my daughter loves you. She’s made some questionable choices in the past, but on the whole, she has a level head. She’s no fool. Explain to me how, if you’re poison, she somehow managed to fall in love with you.”