Total pages in book: 164
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152853 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 764(@200wpm)___ 611(@250wpm)___ 510(@300wpm)
“That’s great news,” I tell him, even if I don’t feel it. It isn’t that I’m not glad for him – he’s wanted a son for years, the way any man in his position would. A son to pass things down to, a son to build a legacy for. It’s not that he doesn’t care for Tatum, but… he’s a creature of his world. He grew up in this one, and now he lives somewhere else. He has an empire to pass down.
It’s better that we end the call quickly, because I’m feeling a little dizzy by the time I do. I welcome the sensation and even finish what’s left in my glass, hoping to make it more intense. Maybe I’ll get so drunk I’ll forget everything. Even my name. My past, my mistakes, my failures. So many fucking failures, I’m starting to lose count. Becky is one in a long line of them stretching back ten years.
No, longer than that. I should’ve done everything I could to stop things before they got out of control. I should have protected the people I loved instead of being a stupid, cocky kid with his head wedged so far up his ass, he couldn’t see what was so plainly coming down the tracks. Like a freight train with its lights burning and the engineer blaring the horn. It was inevitable. I was just too stupid to see it.
“Honey, you’re going with him. He’s going to take you to live with him now.”
I wander through the dark living room, staring at the place I stood while my mother held my face in her hands for the last time. I couldn’t bear to look her in the eye, but I forced myself to do it. I wouldn’t let myself look away. Because even then, I knew it was all my fault.
“Where is he taking me? When can I come home? What about—”
“Honey, you know the answer to that.” A single tear squeezed its way from her swollen eye and down her cheek. “You can’t ever come back.”
And I didn’t. Not until she was already dead and gone. Not until I was already a different person than the confused, angry, bitter child who only thought he was a man.
And then Callum placed a hand on my shoulder. I had never met a man like him before. He was dressed so well. His dark hair was so neatly trimmed, he wore clothes that even to my untrained eye looked expensive – a hell of a lot nicer than anything I had ever seen around the neighborhood, that’s for damn sure. And when he spoke, his voice had a quiet sort of power. Right away, I knew this was not a man I wanted to disappoint. For the first time in my life, it wasn’t because I was afraid of what would happen if I did. There was no fear at all. At least, not of him.
“I don’t want to leave you. What happens to you?”
My mother’s words ring out loud and clear as I climb the stairs, gripping the banister when I almost lose my balance. “I’ll be fine. So long as I know you’re safe and cared for, I’m happy.” And that’s why, even though she had tears in her eyes and her voice shook, and all I wanted to do was hide from the world, I said goodbye to her and followed Callum out to his car in the middle of the night. I tried to pretend I couldn’t hear her crying.
I hear it now, just like I heard it so many nights, coming from the room Tatum now sits in. I didn’t tell her. I couldn’t tell her. What it did to me, waking up and hearing her screams coming from in there when she was having her nightmare. How everything came rushing back all at once and left me sick and sweating as I tore my way down the hall. How she wasn’t the only one who needed a little comfort that night.
“Shit!” I growl when my knee hits the corner of my bed. I grab it, hissing through my teeth, and lose my balance on one foot. I try to fall onto the bed but only slide off, instead, landing on my ass on the hardwood floor. “Fuck!”
“What the hell is going on out here?” I hear her before I see her, feet pounding down the hall. “Jesus Christ, are you trying to tear the house down?”
She stops in the doorway, and first, her eyes dart around the room. I know why, even now, when I can’t stand up. She’s never seen the inside of this room before. There’s nothing special about it. I simply don’t like having people in my space.
Finally, she looks at me. “What happened? Are you hurt?”
“No, I’m fine. Go back to your room.” Focus. You’ve got this. I put both hands on the bed and push myself up until I’m kneeling, but that makes my sore knee ache and I suck in a pained breath.