Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 130758 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 654(@200wpm)___ 523(@250wpm)___ 436(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130758 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 654(@200wpm)___ 523(@250wpm)___ 436(@300wpm)
I knew it then. Something was coming. Something terrible, something fucking horrific. It was like the air churned with the expectation of it, tasted bitter. I knew it because horrors in different people have a way of recognizing one another.
“Lucky,” I whispered.
He jerked, like he didn’t realize I was still there. “It’s Gabriel, actually,” he said. “That’s the name my momma called me, despite everyone else going with the nickname I earned with blood. That was what they called me. Sofia, Camila, and Alexis.” He choked their names out like they were daggers on his tongue. “Alexis was the oldest. Fifteen going on twenty-five. A handful, and not one either me or my mom could contain.” He smiled, not at me but at a memory. “She had spirit. Fire.” His eyes settled on me. “You remind me of her. Chaos and spirit barely contained in one human being. Beautiful. Disastrous.”
I flinched. Not because I was insulted but because I was touched. He’d found it. My soft spot. By comparing me to the sister he obviously loved. Adored.
“They were twins, Sofia and Camila,” he continued. “Six years old. I was meant to take care of them that day. It’s what I thought I was doing. Out in the streets protectin’ our turf, making the neighborhood safe for them.” He sucked in a breath. “Our house was shit. No matter how much Mom tried to make it different, it was shit. It was small, falling apart, and gray. Only color came from the girls. We didn’t have much except a front yard where the girls liked to play in the sunshine. Every day they played out there, pretendin’ they were somewhere else, somewhere they deserved.” His voice was hard, cold. But I wasn’t fooled. I could feel the sorrow drenching the room. I don’t know how the heck I hadn’t seen it before. I thought I was good at hiding my demons, but this guy was the fucking king.
And it broke my shriveled heart.
“’Cause I wasn’t where I was supposed to be that day, taking care of my girls, they did get to go somewhere else. Somewhere I hope to every fucking thing that is holy is somewhere better. That’s the only thought that keeps me upright. That and the knowledge that they didn’t feel a thing. Didn’t know what was happening until they left this world.” His hazel eyes weren’t liquid; they were solid and they punctured through me. “See, the guys searchin’ for retribution for their fallen homie were good shots too. Not lucky, like me. Practiced. Ruthless. Didn’t fuckin’ blink at putting bullets in two little girls’ heads.” His face was a mask. “Though they did regret it. I made sure of that.”
I shivered at the ice in his tone, the violence. It was a stranger to me. The person those demons transformed Lucky—no, Gabriel—into.
“Tore me apart, Becky. Till there was nothin’ left. Broke my momma. She never spoke to me again, still won’t.” He swallowed roughly and found a way to meet my eyes. I got sucked into them. Entangled in his nightmare. “Alexis overdosed a few months later. Not on purpose. She loved life too much, even with the babies gone.” His eyes glistened. “She was tryin’ to live. Burned too bright too quick and she exploded, like a supernova,” he whispered. “I went dark after that. I went fuckin’ black. Fell deep into a world that still gives me fuckin’ nightmares. That makes this one look like Candyland. Chanced upon Asher after a few years in that world. He was running from his own shit. Not my story to tell. But somehow, both of us recognized that we couldn’t stay where we were without turning into the monsters who’d taken my sisters from me. So we got out. And the rest, shall we say, is history.” He didn’t move his gaze from mine. “So it wasn’t fantasy that drew me to you. It was reality. My ugly, dark reality. And that’s why I dragged you here. To fuckin’ save you, even if that pisses you off. ’Cause I’m not lettin’ another supernova explode in a ball of brilliance and leave my world just that bit darker.”
The silence that descended after he finished speaking was so heavy it seemed to darken the room, despite the sun shining through the windows. I was shocked silent, shocked still.
God, I’d been such a bitch to him. So self-important about my own suffering, so sure I was the only person between us battling demons so I had the authority to act how I wanted. How could someone who seemed to derive so much joy from the stupid aspects of life be someone who’d tasted the worst suffering this stupid ball of water had to offer? How the fuck could he spend the day laughing when the universe gave him every reason to turn into a monster?