Total pages in book: 36
Estimated words: 33157 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33157 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
He gave me a gentle smile. “It won’t. I promise.”
“Why did you want us to come here? If you’re not giving me your cut yet, are we still, uh, are we going to sleep together?”
“We’re not going to have sex tonight, honey. But I want to spend the night with you. I want to hold you all night while you sleep.”
“We can still make love, Deacon. I want you.”
“I want you too, honey. But I have to leave in the morning. I’m not sure when I’ll be back, and even when I am, I might not be able to stay long. I’m not using this as an excuse to take what I want without committing to you.” He cupped my face in both his hands, leaning over to brush a tender kiss over my lips. “I’m going to hold you while you sleep. You’re going to give me this one night. After I leave, we’ll revisit us in a year.”
“I’ll wait, Deacon. Just… try to talk to me as much as you can? Make sure to see me whenever possible?”
He smiled reassuringly at me. “I promise to do everything possible to stay in contact with you, Applejack.”
I took him at his word. He held me all night long. With Deacon wrapped around me, I’d never slept so well as I did that night. Sure, I woke occasionally, but only to shift my position. Always, Deacon whispered softly to me until I dozed back off. It was paradise.
* * *
The next few months, Deacon called me at least once a week. Then it backed off to once every other week. By the time our year was up, I hadn’t talked to him the entire last two months before he’d promised he’d be home.
It was another two months before he finally came back to Iron Tzars MC. When he did, Deacon wasn’t the same person he’d been when he’d left.
Chapter One
Deacon
I was about to do the most horrible thing I’d ever done in my life. I’d hoped Apple had found someone her own age who would adore her and treat her like the princess she was. She hadn’t. And I hadn’t been able to keep my promises to her. Any of them.
I couldn’t be with her. I couldn’t make her my old lady. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I’d made some enemies. Bad ones. Granted, I’d done exactly what I’d had to, exactly what Sting had asked of me. Now I was out of that hellhole. But some of the primary players were still alive. If I was found, it wouldn’t be just me who’d suffer. Apple would too. Probably more than me, because they’d use her to torture me.
Sting and I had spoken at length about this. Apple absolutely could not be around me. The enemies I’d made might hesitate to attack the compound itself, but if they knew I had a woman here, they’d throw everything they could at us and more than just the men would be in danger. Every single woman and child would be at risk. If Apple were here, they’d be in even more danger because everyone in the club would give their lives to protect one of their own.
No. The only choice was to send Apple to Riviera Beach to stay with her sister at Grim Road MC. The only way to get Apple to go willingly, was to make it so uncomfortable for her to be in the compound with me that she left on her own. If she knew I was trying to protect her, she’d not only get her sister to kick my ass, but she’d refuse to leave my side. I couldn’t leave her that option.
Yeah. I was going to hell because the second I pulled through the gates and into the parking lot in front of the clubhouse and saw Apple, I knew from the look on her face what I was about to do to her would devastate her beyond any repairing our relationship later. Apple loved me as much as I loved her. But it wasn’t safe for me to be with her. Might never be. No matter the pain to her heart now, at least she’d be safe.
“Deacon!” She waved at me, jumping up and down excitedly. I couldn’t help but grin. God, I’d missed her! I’d been in hell the last three months and thoughts of her had been the only thing that kept me going.
“Apple.” I gave her a wide grin, resisting the urge to open my arms so she could fling herself at me like I knew she wanted to. “It’s good to see you.”
She gave me a hesitant smile, obviously trying to decide what to do next. I could see she was unsure of herself. It gutted me to know this was my fault. And it was going to get worse. “I’ve been waiting for you. I-I was afraid something had happened when you didn’t show up a couple months ago.”