Total pages in book: 73
Estimated words: 71130 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 356(@200wpm)___ 285(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71130 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 356(@200wpm)___ 285(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
The appointment made me feel better, but right now, the loss of Kao is overshadowing everything.
Yesterday the heartache was sharp, but as the initial sting lessened, the ache became unrelenting.
It’s uncanny how you don’t realize how much you love someone until they’re gone.
But Kao’s not gone. He’s here, and it serves as a constant reminder of what I’ve lost. Seeing his flawless face, his striking blue eyes still brings a rush of attraction every time I look at him.
When he laughs with the others, and he talks with them as if nothing has changed, it rips out another piece of my soul.
I know he loved me. Nothing he says will change that belief. But he also blames me for the accident, and I know I’m guilty. Me and my control-freak ways destroyed our relationship before it even had a chance to start.
I don’t think I’ll ever heal from the hole it ripped through my life.
Kao was, is, and will be the only man for me.
Thinking about the empty future stretching ahead of me makes hopelessness grow in my chest.
I’ll never feel his kiss.
I’ll never make love to him.
God, will I even get to hug him again?
“Fallon,” Hana whispers as she sits down next to me.
I shut my eyes against the unrelenting ache that’s slowly driving me insane.
“I can’t, Hana,” I murmur, my voice tight from all the heartache. “I can’t imagine my life without him.”
Hana wraps her arms around me. “I’m sure things will come right between the two of you as soon as he has his sight back,” she tries to reassure me.
Shaking my head, I suck in a trembling breath. “I don’t think so. Kao doesn’t do or say anything without thinking it through. If he felt we could get through this, he wouldn’t have pulled away from me.” Realizing he’s really done with me makes a pain-filled gasp rush over my lips.
My body cramps from the heartache, and all I can do is cry. There’s no relief from the tears.
Only the incessant anguish.
I’ll have to learn to live with it, or at the very least, to pretend I’m fine.
Pulling back from Hana, I get up and walk to the bathroom. I wet a facecloth under the cold water, then press it lightly over the left side of my face, removing all traces that I’ve been crying.
Lifting my gaze to the mirror, I stare at my eyes.
Pull yourself together, Fallon. Life goes on, with or without you.
I now understand why Mila pretended to be okay.
You can do it, too. Chin up. Brave face.
No one has to know you’re dying inside.
“Family fun time,” Jade yells from the living room.
“Come on. We can do with a bit of fun,” Hana says.
I follow her out of the door, and when we walk into the living room, I notice the bottle of whiskey, tumblers, and Jase’s phone on the coffee table.
“Truth or drink?” I ask, while my eyes dart over the open spaces to sit. Usually, I’d go sit next to Kao, and even though there’s space for me, I don’t think it would be a good idea.
I follow Hana and take a seat next to her.
“Tonight’s game is a little different. Would you rather. The arrow will spin and whoever it lands on has a turn to answer. It’s just to ease the tension,” Jase explains.
I watch Mila snuggle into his side, then my eyes move to Hunter and Jade. There’s an intense pang of loss seeing them happy together.
I wanted that with Kao.
“It’s probably going to be inappropriate,” Noah chuckles.
Jase grins. “Of course.” Then he pours a shot of whiskey for everyone.
I’m not a big drinker, but right now, the amber liquid is a welcome relief.
When everyone is ready, Jase presses spin, and the arrow lands on Hunter.
Mila checks her phone, then she lets out a chuckle, “Would you rather live without your girlfriend or your best friend?”
“Fuck,” Hunter grumbles. “I’m in shit no matter what I answer. Can I just drink?”
“Yeah, but you have to down two shots. One for me and one for Jade.”
“How do you figure that?” Hunter asks, right before he downs the first tumbler.
“Oh, it’s just because I want to get your ass drunk,” Jase laughs. He presses spin on the screen again, and it lands on Noah.
The grin on Mila’s face grows as she asks, “Would you rather date someone five years older or five years younger?”
“Older.” Noah didn’t even have to think about the answer. Reaching over, he presses start, and I begin to grimace as the arrow slows until it stops on me.
Damn.
“Would you rather marry someone you know nothing about or someone from your group of friends?” Mila asks.
This isn’t fun at all.
I force a smile to my face, and looking at Hana, I try to joke, “You want to marry me?”