Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 110671 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 553(@200wpm)___ 443(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110671 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 553(@200wpm)___ 443(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Gray helped him get rid of his leather jacket, which had gotten properly wet. “Go. I’ll hang this to dry for you.” When he was alone, he blew out a heavy breath and shook his head. Part of him felt guilty for enjoying normal, everyday hurdles. For weeks, everything had been recovery this, recovery that. Nightmares, panic attacks, and anxiety. But with Darius and Jayden, he was given glimpses of what people went through on a daily basis.
He’d missed it so much.
After hanging Darius’s jacket on a towel rack, Gray picked up the wet clothes and threw them straight into the hamper. Then he washed his feet and headed to the kitchen.
It seemed Jayden was beginning to calm down, though he still wouldn’t let go of Darius. It was a precious sight, despite it all. Darius sat in the middle of the couch with Jayden on his lap, and he was murmuring something to the boy that was too quiet for Gray to hear.
He gathered the fixings for hot cocoa near the stove and poured milk into a saucepan.
“I’m not letting you go, buddy. I promise.” Darius was bringing Jayden’s hands from his neck to his sternum. “See? You wouldn’t be able to get away even if you tried.” He proved his point by wrapping his arms around Jayden and hugging him to his chest. “I’ve got you.”
Jayden sniffled and hiccupped on a whimper. “Okay.”
Gray knew firsthand the comfort provided when Darius promised that he “got you.”
“I wonder if the levees broke,” Darius murmured.
Gray understood what he was talking about right away, and it didn’t seem implausible at all. When was the last time Jayden had cried?
“I’ll tell Adeline to mention it to William.” Gray grabbed some paper towels and went to wipe the dirty footprints off the floor in the living room.
“The counselor, right?” Darius asked.
Gray nodded. “He’s the one who recommended the psychologist I’m supposed to go to.”
“Which you haven’t.”
“We’ve talked on the phone,” Gray defended. “I’ll get to it.”
Darius chuckled quietly. “I’ve heard that before.” He made a face. “I’ve said it too.”
Exactly. He was the last guy who could get on Gray’s case about therapy, considering the years of sessions Darius had ignored.
Gray’s situation was different. He was doing everything he was supposed to. He talked about his nightmares with Darius, he was starting to listen to himself and pick up the signals for when he was getting overwhelmed, he was taking shit slowly, and he took his anxiety meds if he had to. With Darius, Gray could talk about everything because they’d been through it together.
“I don’t think a shrink can help me more than you already do,” he admitted, bringing the dirty paper towels back to the kitchen. “You know what I’ve been through.”
“Not all of it,” Darius pointed out patiently. “Therapy ain’t just about talking, knucklehead. The head doctor will help you work through triggers and make sure your mind heals properly. Like a doctor ensuring a fractured leg heals right. Otherwise, resetting it is gonna hurt like a motherfucker.”
Oh, so he had to come here and be all logical. Fuck that.
Gray checked the milk and stuck his pinkie finger in to see if it was hot enough. Ouch—it was. He poured a few spoonfuls of cocoa into the pan, then some sugar.
As he stirred the cocoa, he glanced over at Darius and Jayden, ready to make a deal. “When we’ve found Jackie, we’ll both go to therapy. Okay?”
“Fine.” Darius shrugged, more focused on Jayden. “How’re you feeling, buddy?”
He sniffled and shook his head. His cheek rested on Darius’s chest, and he had his eyes closed.
“Not ready to talk yet?” Darius murmured.
Jayden shook his head again.
Gray swallowed uneasily and wondered how the hell Darius could be so wonderful with the boy and not fall head over heels in love with the dynamic they shared here.
Gray was lost, that was for certain. In the midst of nightmares and anxiety, he lived the dream and only feared the day he had to wake up. This was what he wanted with every fiber of his being.
“Do you have to go camping tomorrow?” Jayden croaked.
To Gray’s surprise, Darius didn’t miss a beat.
“No, we don’t.” He gave Jayden a big squeeze and pressed his lips to the top of his head. “We can wait a couple days.”
“What about the aquarium, Jayden?” Gray wanted to make sure the kid didn’t miss out on something fun.
“You can’t fish there,” Jayden muttered. “You just look at the fish.”
Gray stifled his laugh with his head in the fridge while he grabbed the heavy cream.
Darius didn’t stifle crap. He laughed gruffly and said he’d have to tell his pop about that one.
“You’re funny,” he told Jayden. “So, we do something else tomorrow. Gray’s brothers have been asking him to come to the hockey rink after practice sometime.” Oh, that sneaky fucking bastard. Darius was taking the opportunity to make Gray leave the cabin more. He turned to Gray with a casual expression. “You think Gabriel and Gideon have practice tomorrow?”