Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87260 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87260 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Josh raised his brows. “You want to donate to Haven’s dog park? And you want to do it anonymously? Why?”
“She went off the rails when I suggested I could pay for her tires. I thought for a second she was going to punch me in the nuts. It was pretty clear to me Haven doesn’t like to take help from anyone. Plus, things with her and me are…complicated.”
“Or, maybe she thought you were offering her a handout.”
I huffed. “A handout? I was trying to be nice and offer to help her. Unlike that douchebag she is dating. He wouldn’t even come and pick her up. He did, however, show up the next morning and declared he had been tracking her.”
That caused Josh to shoot his brows up once more. “Are you kidding me? How is he tracking her? I’m surprised Haven would allow that. I think they’ve only been out on a few dates, according to Sophia.”
“Something about she shared her location with him, probably when she was stranded on the side of the road, and she never turned it off or something. She didn’t seem very pleased. The guy is a dick, and he interrupted us right when I was about to…”
“About to what?” Josh asked.
Inwardly cursing at myself, I looked out the passenger window. “Nothing.”
“Oh, no. You don’t get to say something like that then let it go. What were you about to do?”
I sighed, dropped my head against the seat’s headrest, and said, “Tell her something has changed between us. I felt it, and a part of me wanted to explore that, but it was probably for the best that he came when he did.”
When Josh didn’t say anything, I lifted my head and looked at him. He was staring at me, his mouth gaped open.
“You were going to tell Haven you’re attracted to her.”
I let out a bitter-sounding laugh. “I think I’m beyond attracted. When she was crying in my arms, and I could hardly understand a fucking thing she was saying, the only thing I could think about was hurting someone. Or taking away her worry or making her smile again. I was gutted listening to her cry in my arms. When she finally fell asleep and I carried her to the guest room, it took everything I had not to climb into that bed and hold her while she slept. I didn’t, of course, but I was up all fucking night thinking about how much I wanted to be with her. I stupidly thought that maybe if I told her, I don’t know, we might try it. Dating.”
“Holy shit. As in, exclusively date her?”
I shrugged. “I was just caught up in the moment. The last thing Haven needs is a guy like me in her life.”
“A guy like you? What does that mean?”
Looking at him like he had lost his mind, I said, “I’m not exactly known for being with one woman. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt her. Trust me, she’s been hurt enough for a lifetime.”
“How do you know that?”
I looked away from Josh. “I can’t tell you.”
“You can’t or won’t?”
“Can’t. It’s not my story to tell, and I made Haven a promise. A long time ago.”
Josh ran his hand through his hair. “So you’re afraid of hurting Haven, so that’s why you avoid her because you do have feelings for her and you think you’ll hurt her.”
I nodded.
“But then something shifted, and you were willing to give it a try, but Ted showed up and stopped you from telling her how you were feeling?”
“You got it. He kissed her on the cheek, and they were going back to her place and…”
“And?”
Looking at my cousin like he’d lost his damn mind, I said, “She’s dating him, Josh. I can’t tell her that suddenly I’ve developed these feelings for her and expect her to tell Ted the douche to leave. Besides, I’m not even sure I should tell her.”
“Have they been sudden, the feelings for Haven?”
I stared at my cousin for what felt like forever before answering him. “No. That night in my parents’ barn, all those years ago, it took every ounce of energy I had to stop what we were doing. I wanted nothing more than to be with Haven in every way possible, but I can’t.”
Josh’s brows shot up. “Why the hell not?”
“I told you, she’s been hurt before.”
“I heard that, but, Nate, why do you think you’ll hurt her?”
With a shrug, I replied, “I’ve spent so many years flirting with women and having meaningless sex. I’m unsure I would know how to be in a serious relationship. What if I tell Haven how I feel, we date, and things don’t go well? You and I both know she’s liked me for as long as I can remember. I don’t want to be another man in her life who hurts her. I won’t be another man who hurts her. Just seeing her cry last night, and it had nothing to do with me, about destroyed me.”