Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87260 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87260 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 436(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Now she looked even more confused. “About what?”
“Ummm, well, about, ummm…sleeping with him.”
Haven leaned forward, put her water on the coffee table, then turned to face me. “What are you talking about, Nate?”
“They said you were…well…you were going to sleep with Ted for the first time.”
A look of horror crossed her beautiful face. “They told you that?”
I nodded. “Josephine did. Yes.”
She leaned forward. “Why would they tell you that?”
Shrugging, I replied, “They’re your friends.”
Haven stood and started to pace. She finally stopped and faced me. “I’m sorry, Nate. They lied to you. I’m not even dating Ted any longer. Not that I was officially dating him to begin with. He’s a…a…”
“Douche?”
Attempting not to smile, she turned away and cleared her throat. “Something like that.”
“At least we agree on something. So, what made you pick that song to sing?” I asked suddenly.
“I didn’t. Rosie did.”
I nodded, not entirely believing her. “You have a beautiful voice, Haven. I remember hearing it when you were in the choir.”
She once again had a look of surprise on her face. “How? When did you ever hear me sing in the choir?”
“The Christmas programs you guys did each year while we were in high school.”
Haven slowly sat down on the loveseat once again. “You came to those?”
I gave a one-shoulder shrug. “I did.”
Her head slowly shook. “Why?”
Feeling suddenly like a beaming hot light was shining on me, I tried to quickly figure out what to say. In the end, I went with the truth.
“I wanted to see you sing.”
Haven swallowed hard as she stared at me with utter shock.
“You came to see me? I thought you couldn’t stand me in high school because of what happened with my father.”
I felt a look of horror come over my face. Was that what she thought? My stomach churned and for a moment I thought I might be sick. I dropped my gaze to the blue and white rug she had in the living room and took in a few deep breaths. The floors were all wood, and from what I could tell, they continued throughout the apartment. When I finally lifted my gaze, Haven was watching me. Waiting for my answer.
“That’s not true, Haven. What happened to you with your father wasn’t your fault at all.”
She let out a bitter laugh. “You sure have treated me like you couldn’t stand me, Nate. Like he somehow tainted me all those years ago. Especially after the barn incident…”
“Haven… It was the opposite.”
“The opposite? What do you mean?”
Pushing my hand through my hair, I sighed. “I couldn’t be near you, Haven, and it wasn’t anything to do with your dad. Well, not in the way you think.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, looking at me with eyes that were filled with so many different emotions.
I could feel my heartbeat picking up, and I knew I was about to fuck this all up.
“I just can’t explain it.”
Her arms folded over her chest. “Try, Nate.”
Turning away from her, it was my turn to pace the small area of her apartment.
When I stopped and faced her, I exhaled. “Fuck, I don’t know how to say what I need to say to make you understand.”
Her head tilted slightly to the side. “Let’s start with something easy. Why did you stop that night in the barn if you weren’t repulsed by the thought of my father abusing me sexually?”
“Jesus, Haven, I have never once thought that. Never.”
“Why did you say what we were doing was a mistake when you screwed some girl from out of town at a wall party?”
“What?”
“Don’t play stupid with me, Nate. You’d rather fuck some stranger than even touch me.”
I flinched at her words. “Is that what you honestly think?”
Her arms dropped to her sides. “Yes. You’ve never tried to hide the fact that you sleep around, Nate.”
“Did you ever, for once, Haven, think that maybe I was all talk?”
She took a step back and then laughed. “All talk?”
I rubbed at the back of my neck. “Yes, I’ve slept with women. I won’t say I’m innocent. I’ve let plenty of women do…other things to me, but the amount of women I’ve had sex with isn’t all that you think.”
She rolled her eyes. “Other things? As in?”
“Does it matter? None of them meant a damn thing to me.”
“You didn’t sleep with Callie that night at the wall party?”
“I don’t know a Callie, Haven. And what the hell is a wall party?”
“It was the night Michael Mathews was coming onto me, and I guess we argued because you said I was drunk, and Josh drove me home. Josephine said you took Callie back to your truck, and she said you two had sex.”
“You’re talking about something that happened in high school?”
“Yes!” she cried out. “Why could you take a stranger to your truck to have sex, but you couldn’t with me? What is so wrong with me that you can’t even stand to be near me?”