Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 64880 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64880 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 324(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 216(@300wpm)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Tulsi
Just leave the past in the past, Tulsi chanted silently to herself as she joined the others around the campfire, staying warm as the desert temperature fell and the stars twinkled to life in the deep blue sky.
All these years she’d been terrified of what would happen if Pike were to learn the truth, but now he never had to know. He was the one who had insisted that the past was the past and nothing in it was worth losing each other again. He loved her, she could hear it in every word he spoke, feel it in every touch. He loved and needed her and she loved and needed him and nothing else mattered. Not even her lie. If she kept her secret, everything would work out the way it should have in the beginning. She and Pike would be together and Clementine would have a father who adored her.
Love was what mattered, not paternity, and Tulsi believed Pike when he said he couldn’t help loving Clem. Tulsi felt the same way. She would love any child of Pike’s because he or she would be a reflection of the man she loved.
Every secret dream she’d been too sad and defeated to believe in was coming true. So why did she feel so scared? And so certain that this miracle was going to turn to dust in her hands before she could wrap her head around the fact that her long-lost love had proposed and wanted to live happily ever after?
Because this is crazy. You’re living in a fantasy land. How can you leave the past in the past when Clem will be there every day, learning to care about a man she’ll believe is her stepfather? Every minute will be a lie. Every second.
You’ll spend the rest of your life lying to the people who matter most and if they ever do learn the truth it will destroy your family. You should tell Pike the truth now, before you get in any deeper, before you remember how easy it is to give him every piece of your heart.
“You turning in, Tulsi?” Mia asked with a yawn as she rose from her chair and slipped her hand into Sawyer’s. Ross, Meg, and Pike had already retreated to their tents half an hour ago and now only Tulsi sat in her chair beside the dying flames. “If so, I’m going to put out the fire.”
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll put it out,” Tulsi said. “I’m going to sit and stare for a little longer.”
Mia smiled, her face glowing in the warm orange light. “Okay, sweet thing. Thanks for coming. I can’t remember the last time I had such a perfect day.”
“Me too. Love you two. Sleep well,” Tulsi said as Mia and Sawyer turned away from the fire and her thoughts continued to tumble, tangling her heart into tighter knots.
On the one hand, she’d been lying to Mia for years, so it shouldn’t be that unthinkable to consider lying to Pike. But her lies to Mia had been different. Tulsi had truly believed she was doing what was best for Clem by living that lie. If she lied to Pike, she would only be doing what was best for herself, protecting herself from the fallout that would rain down if she told the Sherman siblings the truth.
In the long run, she might be able to make Pike understand—he realized he’d played his part in the death of their relationship—but Mia never would. For years Mia had stood by her, pitching in and helping out because she believed Clementine’s father was a deadbeat who wanted nothing to do with his daughter.
If she realized that Tulsi had known Pike was Clem’s father all along, Mia would hate her.
Mia doesn’t hate anyone, not since her crazy ex-boyfriend got what he deserved. If you beg her forgiveness, she’ll eventually forgive you. That’s what it means to be family.
Tulsi’s gut said she should trust in her love for Pike and Mia—and their love for her—to carry them all through the hard process of bringing the truth to light, but she couldn’t help thinking about her friend Marisol. Marisol had made a mistake, never intending for it to hurt or embarrass her family, but it didn’t matter. Her father had still disowned her and cast her out. Now, even years later, only one of her brothers would talk to her on the phone. Marisol had lost almost everyone who had once called her family and it didn’t look like those wounds would ever heal. Before Marisol and Bubba met and fell in love, she had been completely alone in the world.
The thought made Tulsi shiver, despite the heat warming her outstretched fingers. She would never make it alone. She wasn’t that type of person. That’s why she’d put up with years of Daddy’s painful jabs and disappointed looks. She needed her father, even if he wasn’t perfect, even if he didn’t love her the way she wished he would. She needed her reserved, soft-spoken mother, she needed her angry, hard-to-get-along-with sister, and she needed her best friends and her daughter most of all.