Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 148949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 745(@200wpm)___ 596(@250wpm)___ 496(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 148949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 745(@200wpm)___ 596(@250wpm)___ 496(@300wpm)
“We will simply go.”
“But what about Emilio? Should he even be on a plane at his age? And Paolo is finally getting a sense of stability. This month he’s been sleeping through the night with no nightmares—”
“Enough!”
She widened her eyes and looked at me. “Kaz?”
“Enough about everyone else. What about you, mysh?”
“I’m fine.”
“Fine?” I glared. “Olga hinted at your being stressed. Lunita has been popping out to party. Clearly, you’re not fine.”
She walked off before I could grab her.
Pissed, I snatched a towel from the rack, wrapped it around my waist, and stomped after her. “Have you been stressed?”
“I wouldn’t say that. I’ve been uneasy and I maybe. . .have been struggling with fear a little. . .but not stressed—”
“That sounds like stress—”
“I have you, Max, Blue, maids, chefs, a nanny, and a whole crew to protect me.”
“What does that have to do with your being stressed or not?”
“How could I be stressed with so many people helping me?”
“I do not understand what you are saying?”
“I’m saying.” She held out her hands. “I have too much help to be whining and complaining.”
The rage rose within me again, and I couldn’t explain why.
I fisted my hands. “If you are fucking stressed, then you say something.”
“It’s not that I feel stressed, it’s that I don’t think I should feel stressed with so much help.”
“That is bullshit. Help is the fundamental aspect of the human experience. We all rely on others for guidance, support, and encouragement.”
She sighed.
“I am the Lion, but I have you, David and many others to help. Thousands actually.” I headed over to my mouse and stopped a foot in front of her. “If I had pushed a baby out of my body. . .”
She blinked.
“I would have demanded people to carry me around for years. It looked painful. I don’t understand how you were able to do it. Every mother should have a team helping them.”
She gave me a sad smile.
“In fact, I was shocked when you jumped right to breastfeeding with no problem as if your body didn’t ache, as if you were born to be a mother. Night after night, sneaking out of bed in order to not wake me, never asking for my help—”
“I already have Olga—”
“I am Emilio’s father. I should be next to you while you feed him.” I raised my hand to her head and brushed my fingertips along her cheek. “I want to help. He is ours.”
She blinked. “I thought you needed your sleep.”
“For what? To roar?” I glared. “We are in this together. Are we not?”
Her voice grew weak. “Yes.”
“What is this need of yours to always handle everything on your own?”
“Kaz, I’m not doing it on purpose. It’s just. . .”
“What?”
“It’s just how I’ve always done it—”
“Now we are together.” I spoke through clenched teeth, “Enough.”
She opened her mouth, but no words left those lips.
I tilted my head to the side. “Have you been stressed or not?”
“Yes.”
Tension gathered in my shoulders. “Talk to me.”
“Sometimes. . .I’ve been really tired.”
“And?”
“And sometimes I get scared that I’m not doing enough for you, Emilio, and Paolo?”
My heart ached. “You are doing more than enough. You have made me a father. You gave Paolo a new life, and you are an amazing mother to our son.”
She hugged herself.
I eyed her. “What else?”
“Sometimes. . .I feel ashamed and embarrassed for having Olga and even Baba helping out so much.”
“They love Emilio and Paolo, but most of all they care for you.”
Her eyes reflected a kaleidoscope of emotions, each one a different facet of the same shattered soul. Her voice lowered to a whisper. “We’ve been so happy. . .and things have been so peaceful. . .that has scared me too.”
“Why?”
“Perhaps, I’m too used to chaos. It’s like I’m just waiting for the shit to hit the fan.”
“I understand that more than you know. At times, the peace has put me on edge too. But, it does not matter what comes if we are together. That is all you need to focus on. Us.”
Slowly, she closed the distance between us and placed her hands on my damp chest. “How do I repair this between us, Kaz?”
“Give me the location of the gardener’s family.”
She let out an exasperated breath. “Are you serious?”
“Why would I be joking?”
“Kaz, you have to let it go.”
“I will not.”
“I’m not getting a bunch of strangers killed to make you happy.” She embraced me.
I didn’t want to warm to her body pressed against mine, but I did. I fell into the softness of my mouse, and it was paradise.
She leaned her head against my chest. “Our focus needs to be on fixing my shattered mind, not murdering innocent people.”
“I can multitask, mysh.”
She let out an exasperated breath.
Someone knocked on the door.
She lifted her head. “Yes?”
Olga’s voice came from the other side. “Our little king has just woken up. No crying, but I’m sure he is hungry.”