Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 148949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 745(@200wpm)___ 596(@250wpm)___ 496(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 148949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 745(@200wpm)___ 596(@250wpm)___ 496(@300wpm)
Sobs caught at my throat. “W-why?”
All of her terror turned to sorrow, and my rage drowned in it.
Desperate, I cried out, “O-olga. . .w-was the mom. . .we n-never had. . .”
Blood dripped along my fists. “She was the g-grandma. . .Emilio and Paolo. . .c-could have loved.”
Suddenly, her sorrow faded away, as if the connection broke off.
Was it too much for her to deal with?
Was she fleeing from the truth?
Or had it all been in my head?
“Lunita?” Without her presence, I was left feeling almost. . . disoriented, as though I’d just woken up from a dream, but also more aware of myself than ever before.
I gazed down at my bleeding hands. Tiny, jagged edges of glass had embedded in the sides of my fingers.
“I can’t run from this anymore.” My blood dripped on the sink and counter. “I have to get rid of you.”
The scent of copper rose to my nostrils. “Maybe. . .I was scared to do so. . .cause. . .we are. . .one.”
I looked up.
The mirror was no longer there.
The glass was nonexistent in some parts, and shattered everywhere else.
Unease gathered in my shoulders.
I studied the intricate patterns of the cracks, each one branching off in a different direction like a spider’s web frozen in time.
My reflection in the broken glass was even more distorted and fragmented. It was a jigsaw puzzle with pieces missing, displaying my cracks and flaws.
“Maybe. . .I was scared to get rid of you. . .or me. . .” I shivered. “But, now you’ve forced us to heal. Host, alter, or even the fucking original, you have got to go.”
My heart boomed in my ears. “I don’t give a fuck anymore. This is my body. My life. My man. My baby. My fucking nanny! Go!”
I scowled at the broken reflection.
My deep rooted rage simmered.
All my life I had been more than one part of a person.
I just never knew it.
But, there was a sense of something inside of me, even though I couldn’t put a name on it. I’d always felt like a stranger within myself. Plus, I damn sure knew I wasn’t okay. Wasn’t sane. Normal. Mentally healthy.
But in this moment, as I wildly gazed at my shattered image, I realized that I was the doomed, lost ship and I was also the raging storm the ship tossed and turned in.
I was the confused maze and the trapped traveler trying to find a way out of it.
And Lunita, she was me, and I was her.
Both lost.
Both desperate.
Both in need of healing.
Together, we would have to find our way out of the darkness.
Or one of us would die.
Suddenly, the door crashed open.
Kaz stepped through. “Mysh!”
And I turned to him, covered in tears, shattered glass, and blood, wishing I could change it all. “I’m sorry, baby.”
Chapter 12
Divine Madness
Kaz
Plato said that love was a kind of madness.
A divine madness.
The more I spent time with my mouse, the more I understood the truth of that quote.
Plato’s talk of love as divine madness spoke to the idea that love was a powerful force that could transcend the boundaries of the physical world.
When we were in love, we experienced a heightened sense of emotion and a deep connection to our lover.
This connection could be transformative, inspiring us to be better versions of ourselves and to seek out higher truths.
I’d experienced that with my mouse.
Had I not grown?
Become better?
Had she not reminded me of the beauty and wonder of this world?
However, as with any powerful force, love could also be destructive.
Irrational.
Madness.
But I couldn’t let us become that.
Never.
Our love had to be the bright light in the darkness, illuminating the path towards a better future.
It was just that life was making it hard.
Why would she hurt herself like that?
In my downstairs office, I paced back and forth, my anger building with each passing second.
Dr. Stovall used his tweezers to pick out another piece of glass.
Emily winced.
I glared at her and increased the speed of my pacing. Cold fury simmered just beneath the surface.
I wanted to help my mouse, to make everything better, but I was also furious that she put herself in harm’s way.
Goddamn it. She could have bled out or something.
As I watched her wince again, a deep ache filled my chest.
It was a pain that I knew all too well, the ache of love and worry and fear all rolled into one. It was a thunderstorm raging inside of me, all lightning strikes and torrential downpours.
Divine madness.
My mouse had showed me that love was a force that was both beautiful and dangerous. A wild animal impossible to tame.
Still pacing, I glanced at her every few steps and saw the pain etched into her features.
Goddamn it, mysh!
It was a pain that I would do anything to take away, to make her whole again.
Burning rage bubbled up from my core, so close to exploding onto everyone.