Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 90114 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 451(@200wpm)___ 360(@250wpm)___ 300(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90114 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 451(@200wpm)___ 360(@250wpm)___ 300(@300wpm)
"Fine."
"This is fine?"
"And you?"
She makes that eh motion with her hand. "It's a lot."
"Did your aunts make it okay?" I'm not sure why I ask. Lock picked them up from JFK a few hours ago. He's already dropped them at a hotel and suggested a few places to shop, dine, spa.
"You don't know?"
"Making conversation."
"Shepard Marlowe is making conversation? This is a first." She half-smiles.
She's inviting me to talk to her.
But conversation isn't going to help.
"I'm a little…" My eyes drift to her chest. The curving neckline hugs her enough to invite my hands. I do want her out of that thing. I want to tear the soft fabric in half. Use it to bind her wrists. "Distracted."
That's too much for her. I need to stay away. I don't trust myself.
"And you?" I ask.
"Am I… distracted?" Her eyes flit over my body. She takes in my tailored suit. Then she moves closer. Adjusts my tie. "It matches well."
"Too much?"
"You don't usually ask my approval."
"Like I said—"
"Distracted?"
"Yes." My gaze flits to the window. Still afternoon. The sun is bright.
I'd think it was beautiful if I saw beauty in the world. Instead, I count the minutes we have before we meet my brother and his girlfriend.
Fuck, I've barely considered the girlfriend. I don't regret what I asked of her last year. It was necessary. But I'm sure she holds it against me.
Some people—
Most people don't see the world the way I do. Whatever it takes, to get what I want, whatever that means for others. Selfish, maybe, but I don't give a fuck. If there's something in the way of Jasmine's safety, I'm not going to ask nicely.
That's about all I can promise.
I can't offer her happiness or love—
I don't understand happiness or love.
People say they're happy when they have certain things or hit certain milestones. Are they really? Or are they telling themselves some story?
Having her here, living in my space, mine in every practical way, but not the ways that matter—
It's fucking confusing. I start thinking ridiculous things. Wanting ridiculous things. Like her heart.
Like her accepting my heart.
That's impossible. There's no heart in my chest. There's a black hole that sucks in pain and circulates it through my entire fucking body.
I can't offer her love.
I can't offer her happiness.
But I can make her come.
I can unzip her dress, push it to the floor, bend her over the table—
"Are you okay?" she asks again. All her. No assistant voice.
"No."
"Oh." Her eyes meet mine. "We do have time. Before we leave to meet your brother."
"We have time?"
"Yes." Her voice drops to a seductive tone. "It's been a few days."
I nod.
"You've been avoiding me?"
"I'm busy."
She stares back at me with disbelief. "At least an hour. By my count. There must be a reason you're ready early."
Yes, I want to fuck her senseless. But it's too much for her. She isn't ready for that. "You don't know what you're asking."
"I don't?"
"I had patience the other day. I don't right now."
"So?"
"I can't be careful. I can't promise to follow your limits."
Her eyes bore into mine. She stares at me, looking for something.
I'm sure there's plenty on her mind, between her dad and the rest of her family. This is a lot for her too. She has just as much at stake.
She wants a distraction too.
I promised to take care of her.
I turn all my attention to her. "I can't promise I'll stay in control."
"What does that mean?"
I don't know. I don't let it happen. "I might hurt you."
"You won't."
I will. That's what she doesn't understand. She still sees the boy she loved. Not the man who's embraced the darkness in his core. "I can't promise that." I push a breath through my teeth. "I don't want to hurt you. I care about you."
"You care about me?"
"Yes."
She laughs. "I guess, coming from you, that's a lot." She turns toward me. "I care about you too." Carefully, she rests her hand on my chest. "And I care about this. I want to play. I… I like that you won't be careful."
My balls tighten.
"I don't want you to be careful." Her cheeks flush. "I want you to be rough."
"You remember the safe word?"
"Coffee bean." She licks her lips again.
I suck in a deep breath. Does she really know what she's agreeing to?
I don't want to hurt her.
But I can't turn this down either. "Are you sure?"
"Yes." Her voice is confident.
I close the distance between us.
Then I slip my fingers under her necklace. I tug it hard, bring her body against mine.
"You have no idea what you're getting yourself into, princess."
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jasmine
Shep holds my body against his. My head against his neck, my back against his chest, my ass against his cock.
He's already hard. I can feel him. Even through all the layers of chiffon. Through the Italian wool of his suit.