Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 76821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 384(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
“Enough,” Donovan snapped, making me jolt.
It was his anger that did it.
Ripped away what little bit of bravery I had left.
I turned and ran out the back door.
The panic, an old, familiar friend, wound itself around my torso, then my chest, and, finally, my throat.
Surely, there wasn’t enough air getting through. My throat felt too tight, my chest too.
I felt immediately dizzy, unsteady on my feet.
I took a couple more steps forward, and went down, I was swirling so badly.
My knees hit the ground with a shot of pain that cleared my mind for a split second before another wave of panic assaulted me, making me shaky.
“Christ.”
That was Donovan’s voice, but it sounded like it was coming from the end of a very long tunnel.
“You having a panic attack?” he asked, his hand reaching out, touching the back of my head. “It’s alright,” he assured me, his fingers starting to massage my scalp. “Take some deep breaths,” he added.
Closing my eyes, I did as he instructed, trying to focus on my breath and the sensation across my scalp that felt like little shivers.
After a moment or two, the tightness in my chest started to subside. Another minute later, the dizziness was going away too.
“Little better?” Donovan asked, voice soft. Because no matter how upset or betrayed he might have felt, he wasn’t the type of man to keep poking at you when you were already clearly very tender.
“Yes,” I said, taking a breath so deep that my entire chest shook as it inflated fully. “I’m so sorry, Donovan.”
“How are you feeling on the whole… standing up thing?” he asked.
“Uhm, alright. I think,” I said, taking the hand he offered me, and getting back to my feet.
“There you go,” he said, ducking his chin a bit to catch my gaze. “You about done making yourself sick over some made-up scenario that is never going to happen?” he asked.
“It’s not…”
“Sweetheart, if you thought my reaction would be something worth having a panic attack over, then you absolutely made this bigger in your head than it is.”
“I lied to you,” I reminded him.
“You… omitted.”
“It’s the same thing.”
“It’s… in the same family, but it’s a distant relation in this case,” he insisted. “Maeve, I don’t give a fuck about the website. You barely said anything about me anyway,” he added, with a brow raise.
“I knew the least about you,” I said, shaking my head. “You don’t seem to sleep around quite as much as the other guys do. Or did.”
“Turns out, I wasn’t losing interest in hooking up because I was getting older. I was just looking for something more. And I found it. And I’m not going to let a little fan site fuck this up.”
“You’re not creeped out by it?” I asked. “Especially the driving past the clubhouse thing?” I clarified. “I mean, really, it only happened a few times. And almost always when we were already heading in this direction.”
“I wasn’t picturing you and Triss all decked out in black, looking in the windows. You know what, actually, strike that. I think Triss is totally capable of that,” he said with a warm smile. “But not you.”
“Alaric seemed…”
“To be fucking with Triss,” he said, shrugging. “Because we all know that Alaric gets off on the attention, so he’s not actually pissed off about ‘stalking,’” he said, putting the word in air quotes. “He and Triss are probably already laughing about it, and deciding what to change his page to on the site.”
“I’m taking the site down,” I blurted out. “I should have done it already.”
“Babe, it’s harmless. If the club had any issue with it, Huck would have made Teddy’s lawyers…” he started, then I watched as more pieces fell into place.
“Yes. He knows,” I said, nodding. “He wanted me to tell you guys, not him.”
“Sounds like Teddy,” Donovan said. “Come on, let’s go back inside. This is blown out of proportion.”
“I don’t think I can face them,” I admitted.
I mean, the site wasn’t really my voice. It was super bubbly and girly. An amalgamation of Triss’s voice, and the gushing emails I’d gotten from girls who had been at club parties, or hooked up with club members.
It was embarrassing to think that the guys thought I was personally thinking of them that way.
“I’m sure, by now, Triss has explained it all in explicit detail,” Donovan reasoned. “So when you go back in, I bet all you are going to get is demands from Levee to update his page constantly. Come on,” he demanded, reaching his hand out for me to place mine there.
On this, at least, there was no hesitation on my part.
My hand slipped into his, and his fingers slid between mine, closing, giving me silent reassurance as he led me back into the house.
I wasn’t, you know, miraculously cured of my anxiety just because Donovan said it would be okay, or because he accepted me, or even because he was holding my hand.