Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87538 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87538 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
The problem is that if I find out exactly what’s on offer, the decision might be made for me. I’ve always tried to strike a balance between salary offered and how much I’ll enjoy the job, but because of Eddie and Dylan, salary normally outweighs everything else. If I see the salary for the Lebedevs, I’m pretty sure I’ll take it. Old habits die hard, and even with Eddie’s scholarship as a buffer, there are always rainy days ahead.
“Give me twenty-four hours,” I say.
I can practically hear Felicity’s eye roll. “Don’t keep them waiting too long. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
I thank her and hang up. Almost immediately I get a message. Felicity is nothing if not persistent.
But it’s not Felicity. It’s a picture of Dax and Guinevere. She’s sleeping, so clearly having a great time. It’s captioned, “We miss you. Come join us in the park!”
I glance around my room. Well, I have finished unpacking. And it is my day off. I can do anything I like, right? Especially when I know there’s another job waiting for me.
In less than ten minutes, I’m at the gates of Coram’s Fields. Just as I’m about to open the gate, I spot someone familiar sitting on the bench opposite the entrance.
It’s Doreen. Guinevere’s first nanny. The woman who collapsed in the park.
I let go of the gate and walk over to her. “Hi, I’m Eira. We met here a couple of weeks ago.”
It takes a couple of seconds for her to recognize me. “Oh, yes dear. You were very kind to me. Thank you so much.”
“I see you’ve got some color back,” I say. “How are you feeling?”
I can see her attempt a smile, but it doesn’t quite work. “I’m okay. Just watching all the children come in and out. This is my favorite park and I won’t be able to come here any longer.” She sighs and her entire body sinks lower into the bench.
I take a seat next to her, looking through the iron railings into the park.
“I’m officially retired,” she says. “No more playgrounds for me.” She pats me on the hand. “I wasn’t as lucky as you. Couldn’t have my own children. That’s why I became a nanny.”
“I’m so sorry.” I don’t correct her and tell her the little boy I was with at the park wasn’t mine.
“I thought it would be enough. But it never is. Your charge is never yours, you see. You always have to give them back.” She shakes her head. “In the end, we nannies end up alone.”
My scarf seems to pull a little tighter around my neck. I pull at the length of fabric but the feeling doesn’t lessen. “I know nannies who have children,” I say. I’ve never thought about my life so far in the future to consider having my own children. I’m so focused on getting through the present, trying to make sure Dylan and Eddie are happy, that I don’t think about the future.
But soon, they won’t need me.
Then what?
She nods. “The lucky ones.”
I spot Dax pushing Guinevere’s pram over to the edge of the football pitch. There’s a game going on. Oh gosh, is he meant to be playing?
I should go and offer to watch Guinevere.
I turn back to Doreen. “Can I do anything to help? Do you need anything?”
She pats me on the hand again. “You run along,” she says. “Live your life, my dear. Live your life.”
Her words stick like a thorn in my chest.
“Why don’t you come with me?” I suggest. “We can go inside and if anyone questions us, we’ll just say you’re with me—with us.” The last word feels stuck, as if it doesn’t belong. Guinevere, Dax and I aren’t an us. I’m a me. They’re an us. Nothing’s going to change that.
I’m always going to be on the outside looking in.
“You’re very sweet. But I’m going to stay here,” she says.
I stand but pause, wondering what I can do to make things better for her.
I type out a text to Felicity, asking her to send me the job description for the Lebedev family when it comes through.
TWENTY-SEVEN
Dax
I look up and see her straight away. Her hair streams behind her as she heads in our direction like some kind of goddess, her hands stuffed in her pockets, her smile lighting up the dreary sky. She looks even more gorgeous than usual. Maybe I’m playing with fire, but I can’t wait for tonight, when Guinevere’s in bed and it’s just the two of us. Again.
“Here comes Eira,” I say to Guinevere.
“Hey,” she says as she approaches. “Are you having fun?” She seems lighter than before in the kitchen.
“Better now that you’re here,” I reply. I lean forward and place a kiss on her cheek. A blush spreads from where my lips were and I chuckle at how…demure she seems. Today. Not so much last night. “Shall we get a coffee?”