Total pages in book: 157
Estimated words: 161899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 809(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 161899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 809(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
But right now, nothing was going to help.
Except one thing.
“Baby, can you go grab my keys from the kitchen?” he asked.
She nodded quickly, shot up from the couch and headed that way.
“Baby?” his mother demanded of Auggie.
“Dana. Did you fucking hear me?” his father demanded of his mother.
Auggie returned his attention to them.
His father was now on the front stoop, which was more like a short cement porch, painted terra-cotta and running Aug’s side of the duplex he was renting.
Aug had a married couple living on the other side. Their names were Tod and Stevie, and they had him over for a special dinner once a month because “You do yard work, including pruning, and that deserves a celebration.”
Their lawns were the size of postage stamps so they took about fifteen minutes to mow. There were precisely six pots to plant, which took half an hour to do twice a year. And he probably spent an hour a year pruning their twelve rosebushes.
But Stevie was a fantastic cook.
So he didn’t argue.
He wondered now how they felt about him as a neighbor, his mom shouting obscenities on a Sunday afternoon.
“Who’s that woman?” his mother asked Auggie, unfortunately bringing him back to their scene.
Demetrios “Dem” Hero, his dad, who hadn’t even glanced at Auggie, turned his attention to his son. “Woman?”
“Do you honestly have a woman in your life, and you haven’t told your mother about her?” Dana asked, her voice becoming more shrill.
He had a lot in his life, practically everything, he hadn’t told his mother about.
“Are you seein’ someone special, Auggie?” Dem inquired.
How in fuck could they land on his doorstep in the middle of whatever bullshit was happening with the two of them, and now they were acting like his life was in some way their business?
They’d never made anything about him their business, even when he was at an age he depended on them to do that.
“We’re not doing this now,” Aug announced. “It hasn’t been a good day for Pepper, so whatever is happening with the two of you needs to happen somewhere else.”
He heard a low whistle coming from behind him. He turned his head, and Pepper lifted up her hand with his keys in it.
“Pepper? Her name is Pepper? What kind of name is that?” That was his mom.
“Yowza, son. Well done.” That was his dad, who obviously got eyes on Pepper, even if she was trying to remain out of sight.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Again, his mom.
Auggie nodded to Pepper.
Pepper sent the keys sailing his way.
He caught them, unlocked the door and started to jostle with his parents, who were both trying to push in while he pushed out, his mother grabbing her bags at the same time.
In other words, he lost the shoving match and found himself wedged with his back against the open door with both his parents filing into his place…his mom doing it with her fucking suitcases.
That was when he felt his skin start to heat.
Oh yeah.
This was going to get bad.
And he didn’t want Pepper to see it.
“Uh…heya,” he heard Pepper say uncertainly.
Auggie walked in, practicing patience and rounding his parents as his dad replied, “Hey there, girl.”
“So, yeah, of course, first thing, he flirts with his son’s girlfriend,” Dana announced to no one.
Shit.
“What’s the matter with you?” Dem asked his wife. “I just said hello.”
“I wonder what your girlfriend will think about you panting after a woman young enough to be your daughter?” Dana speculated, giving hints to why this was happening. Either Dad was stepping out, or she thought he was. “I’ll tell you what your wife thinks. She thinks it stinks.”
“Gonna say it one more time,” Auggie butted in. “We…are…not…doing…this…now.”
Both his parents’ attention came to him.
“Son—” Dem started.
But Dana talked over her husband, aiming her next at her boy.
“I hate to cramp your style, Auggie. But I need a place to crash until I can get myself sorted.”
Translation: Until I can get one of my former lovers to put me up for a while or find a new one. But if that doesn’t work, find a way to patch things up with your dad without losing face so I can move back in with him. Because I’ve tried all my friends’ patience with this garbage, and they’re done with me, so you’re my last resort. And it’s all about me, the fact you’ve got something on doesn’t matter in the slightest.
“Mom, you’re not staying here,” he told her.
“I’ve got nowhere else to stay,” she shot back.
“We’ve talked about this before,” he returned.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us to your girl?” Dem asked.
Dana shifted her attention to her husband. “Of course, all you can think about is the girl. Because your brain has been in your pants since you formed your first thought.”
Dem shifted his attention too. “It’s your mind in the gutter, Dana. Not mine.”