Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 45319 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 227(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45319 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 227(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
I looked to my left and saw the enormous, smelly Ogre who had chased me down the path behind my house. It appeared like he had at least tried to dress for court. His long orange pelt had been combed into some semblance of order—though to be honest, the comb tracks in it only made it look greasier since it was very clear he hadn’t washed it. He was wearing longer trousers too, though still no shoes or shirt. He did however, have a lime green tie around his thick neck. It was too long and hung down almost to his crotch.
Standing by his side was the Harpy lawyer who had served me with the magical papers that caused me to appear in the courtroom. But there was no one waiting to represent me, I saw with dismay. And where was the judge? How could we have a trial without one?
As if in answer to my question, a booming, disembodied voice rang out,
“All rise for the judge and adjudicator of this case!”
Since we were all already standing, nobody moved as one of the glowing green doors opened and in walked an elderly warlock in a long black robe.
My heart sank when I saw who it was—none other than the head of The Council of Wisdom—Grand Wizard Henkelman.
I remembered now that Goody Albright had said that he and The Council went all around the world presiding over cases in the magical court system. But what terrible luck for him to be the judge of this particular case! Why couldn’t I have gotten Goody Tandy, the sweet old witch who wanted to try my cinnamon rolls instead?
I tried to think of all the court cases I used to watch on Judge Judy back when I was a kid and I was home sick from school. Could I ask the judge to recuse himself from my case on the grounds that he was already prejudiced against me since my lust-filled pear tarts had caused him to screw a knothole and get a splinter in his privates? I didn’t know and I was afraid that if I made a motion like that and it was denied, Grand Wizard Henkelman would get even angrier at me.
The elderly warlock went to the base of the extremely tall podium that dominated the room and began to climb. After a few minutes of audible huffing and puffing, he arrived at last at the top and settled himself on the judge’s bench. He reached into his long black judge’s robe and pulled out a tiny silver gavel which he tapped lightly on the podium.
It must have been magical because instead of the soft tink-tink-tink I expected, a loud BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! rang out across the shadowy courtroom.
“Now then, this court will come to order!” Grand Wizard Henkelman shouted, as though everyone was yelling instead of just standing quietly, watching him. “Bailiff—will you please state the case and read the charges?” he added.
“This is the case of the Ogre, Guglor Goremouth, who is suing the witch, Celia Hatch, for the unlawful theft of his property,” the loud, disembodied voice which had announced the judge in the first place said.
“I see. Yes, yes.” Grand Wizard Henkelman nodded importantly. “Well, attorneys—let’s hear the facts of the case! Councilor Heketate, you may speak first,” he added, looking down at the Ogre’s lawyer. “Please step forward and tell me what happened.”
“Thank you, Your Honor.” The Harpy stepped forward and shook out her wings with a rustle. “Here are the facts of the case. Yesterday, on the twenty-second day of September, the year of our Goddess two thousand and twenty four, this witch, Celia Hatch, trespassed on my client’s property—”
“I didn’t trespass!” I exclaimed.
Grand Wizard Henkelman tapped his silver gavel again, which resulted in a loud BOOM-BOOM! and glared down at me.
“That will be quite enough of that! You may speak when you’re spoken to—not before!”
“But she’s lying!” I said desperately. “I never trespassed on anyone’s property—I was on a path that runs behind my house.”
“Enough!” Grand Wizard Henkelman pointed one long crooked finger at me. “I already know what a troublemaker you are, witch! You’ll get your turn to state your case. For now, be silent or I’ll charge you with Contempt of Court!”
I wasn’t sure what the penalty was for Contempt of Court in a magical court and I didn’t want to find out. Unhappily, I nodded and murmured,
“Yes, Your Honor.”
“Good. Now maybe we can continue. Councilor Heketate?” he said, turning back to the Harpy lawyer.
“Thank you, Your Honor,” she said, fluffing her wings. “As I was saying, the witch, Celia Hatch, trespassed on my client’s property and proceeded to steal dozens of valuable and magical Golden-Skinned Warbler pears which she took from the tree that grows in his yard and made into tarts which she then sold for profit. My client is asking for fair compensation for the theft.”