Total pages in book: 80
Estimated words: 77874 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77874 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 260(@300wpm)
He turns away. “Stop saying that.”
“East—”
“Just go, Archer. I’m asking you to fucking go. And don’t come by tonight. I can’t…I can’t do this with you.”
As much as I want to stay and fix this, I have to respect his wishes. At least here, right now, but… “Okay, I’ll go, but this isn’t over. We’re gonna talk. I’m not going anywhere, no matter how much you try and push me away.”
And then I turn and walk away, though I hate doing it. I want him to know I’m a man of my word. That he can depend on me to do as I say I will. It’s the only way to get him to trust me.
When I get back into my car, I call Cass. When he answers, I say, “Hey, you free?”
“I’m always free for you. Actually, I just dropped Meadow off with my folks. Want me to come over?”
“Fuck yes.” It’s so damn nice to have someone I can always depend on. Does East have that? Again, I think he does with his brothers and Dusty, but I don’t know that he realizes he does.
Cass arrives at my place a few minutes after me. It doesn’t take long to get anywhere in Birchbark, and while I know that’s not for some people, I love it.
“You want a beer?” I ask.
“Sure, I’ll take one.”
We head out back to my fenced-in yard, where I’ve got a deck with chairs. “How’s our little lady?” I ask once we’ve sat down.
“Good, but you didn’t call me to talk about Meadow.”
There’s no holding back the sigh because he’s right. The thing is, I also want to be careful what I tell him about Easton. It doesn’t take a genius to know he’s not the type to like his business getting spread around, but there’s no one in this world I trust more than Cass. Whatever I tell him will go no further than the two of us.
“I kissed Easton Swift.” Might as well just put it out there.
He chuckles. “Am I supposed to be surprised?”
“Well, he kissed me first…and I kissed him back…and then I stopped him, told him it wasn’t a good idea, and he got upset and took off.”
“Okay, why did you stop it? You don’t want him?”
“I do. Fuck, you know I do. That’s not why this started, but yes, I’m attracted to him. It’s a complicated situation. The power dynamic between us is already skewed my way. I’m a police officer, and East has gotten in trouble with the law how many times? Plus, how often have I been the one they call to deal with him? I don’t want him to kiss me because he thinks he should or because he thinks he owes me.” Now that I’m saying it all out loud, I’m not even sure it makes sense.
“You have to trust him to know the difference. If he believes you’re the kind of man who would expect something sexual because of that shit, then he doesn’t know you.”
I see what he’s saying but… “You don’t know him like I’m beginning to. I’m not sure if anyone truly knows him.” I don’t think he knows himself. “He’s got a bad rep, and yeah, he’s done things wrong, but…” I think about those nights at the campsite. Seeing him cry and talk to himself. Falling asleep in my arms. Sagging against me like he doesn’t have the strength to hold himself up anymore. How he doesn’t think we are friends and expects me to get tired of him. “I think that man is hurt more than anyone I’ve ever known.”
“Are you trying to fix him?”
“No. Hell no.”
He holds up his hands. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I know.” I sigh, leaning back in my chair. “I don’t want to fix him, but I do want to be there for him. He doesn’t understand that’s possible. He expects me to walk away, believes he’s not worth it, and I think he’s doing everything in his power to make that happen—like a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
“And I’m sure you stopping the kiss only fed into that—not that you didn’t have the right to do that. You do, and honestly, it was smart.”
Holy shit. Why hadn’t I thought of it that way? Easton saw that as rejection. He put himself out there, and to him, I didn’t want him. Why hadn’t I told him I want him?
“I need to talk to him.” Which I tried…and that didn’t go so well.
“You should, but I have to ask, just because I’m me. I don’t have anything against the guy. I don’t know him well, but are you sure this is a good idea? Getting involved with him? He does seem like he has a lot going on, and I don’t want you to get hurt. And could it cause problems with your job?”