Total pages in book: 161
Estimated words: 149338 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 747(@200wpm)___ 597(@250wpm)___ 498(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 149338 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 747(@200wpm)___ 597(@250wpm)___ 498(@300wpm)
Fresh tears rolled down her face, it was the first time I ever said those three words to her. Even though I’d been dying to say them since the second she barged into my office, when she was eighteen years old.
“Do you love me because I’m Sophia’s daughter? Because I remind you of her? Because you couldn’t have her, so you settled for me? Am I the rebound girl, second best, right? Is that why you love me?” she bellowed, her voice breaking.
“No,” I simply stated. “I love you in spite of that.”
She jolted back, surprised by my revelation. Her icy façade was dissolving layer by layer. I was getting through to her. For once, the truth may save me.
“But trust me, cariño. You couldn’t be more different than Sophia if you tried. You look nothing like her. Sophia was weak, scared about everything, never fought for anything in her life. Including me. Always waiting for someone to rescue her, take care of her. She wasn’t the woman for me. I thought I loved her, I thought she was the one. I couldn’t have been more wrong about that. I spent years mourning the loss of a woman who never belonged with me.”
Her eyes showed so many different emotions, it was almost hard to keep up.
“You’re strong, you’re resilient, you fight for everything you believe in, especially me. It didn’t matter how many times I tried to push you away, knowing everything about us was wrong. You wouldn’t have it. You were never scared of me, Lexi. As much as I tried to show you my Hell, you were more than willing to burn right along with me. I’ve never met anyone like you before. You’ve gone through so much and have never let it define who you were. That’s one of the things I love the most about you. You were made for me, cariño. And I swear to you on my niece’s life, that I’ve never looked at you and thought you were Sophia. I’ve never wanted to call out her name. It’s always been just you, Lexi.”
She took a deep breath, wiping away all her tears.
“You don’t owe me anything. I’m fully aware of that, baby. But you need to know the truth. I owe you that and so much more.” It was my turn to take a deep breath. “For the ten years you were in Europe, I was barely fucking living. I was going through the motions. Waiting for the day that someone would finally end it all. I was fucking exhausted. I am fucking exhausted. I’m too old for this shit. I was a broken compass pointing to nowhere. I missed you. I craved you. I dreamt about you. Every second of every day, I spent thinking about nothing but you. I just wanted to end it all. Living a life where no one cared if I was dead or alive finally ran its toll. I fucking needed you. For the first time in my life, I needed someone. You.”
“Jesus… Alejandro,” she muttered, her lips trembling.
“I know it’s a lot to take in at once. If I had more time to talk to you, it would be different, but I don’t. And I’m not leaving this room until you know everything. No more secrets, no more lies. No. More. Demons.”
She nodded, wanting to hear the rest of what I had to say.
“The FBI had been on my ass for years. Fucking decades. Austin was so grateful for my part in Briggs and him getting back together. He gave me the heads up that his friend, Dylan was getting close to exposing me. Bringing me in. He’s a narcotics detective and had been working on my case for God knows how long. That’s when I realized that this was my chance to walk away. With you. To end it all. This was my demise.”
She shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
“I wanted to come for you before you got in your car accident, but I thought I was doing the right thing staying away. When Leo told me you were badly hurt it only signified what I was doing. What I was planning. I thought I lost you. For good. When you woke up and saw me in your hospital room, everything was already set in motion.”
“What?”
“My death.”
She narrowed her eyes at me, still not understanding.
“I made a deal with the government. I give up the names, information on all the men they spent decades trying to get, and in return I get to walk away with a new identity. I knew it was going to take time, but I never thought it would take three years. I spent those years being who I always wanted to be with you. Needing you to finally meet the man you always wanted. I let myself really be with you, for the first time. I didn’t give a fuck anymore. Right or wrong. You’re mine. End of story,” I revealed, laying all my cards out on the table. “Cariño, I tried to give you clues the only way I possibly could. Hoping maybe you would catch on. You never did. Dylan, Austin and Leo knew from the start. They helped me with everything. Briggs knew something was going to go down, but she didn’t know the specifics. It’s why they let you go.”