Total pages in book: 13
Estimated words: 12091 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 60(@200wpm)___ 48(@250wpm)___ 40(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 12091 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 60(@200wpm)___ 48(@250wpm)___ 40(@300wpm)
Caleb pushes the material at me and my fingers fumble in the dark to wipe my hands and groin with his shirt. “Let me turn on my flashlight so we can at least see what the fuck we’re doing.”
I squat down to hunt for my phone, flip on the light, then set it atop my pile of clothes so it illuminates the space.
Seeing him again after minutes of darkness is like a breath of fresh air. Hair tousled, skin flushed, clothes askew…he looks gorgeous as ever. We zip, button, and straighten attempting to get ourselves in some semblance of order.
I probably look as much of a wreck as he does, but who wouldn’t after being trapped in a sauna with no relief. Well, there was some relief, but not from the stifling air.
I smirk. “It probably smells like sex in here.”
His eyes widen. “Oh shit. Do you think—”
“Nah, I was only teasing.” He visibly relaxes. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with what we did. Consenting adults and all.”
“Yeah, I know.” He sighs. “Can’t help that automatic response. Been doing it for so long.”
“I get it.” I grip his arm. “Promise me you’ll allow yourself more of this.”
Our eyes meet and hold. “I’ll try.”
“Good.” I reach over to push a stray lock of hair behind his ear. Can’t help myself. “You deserve that.”
He burrows his cheek against my palm, and it’s such a moment of vulnerability that my chest aches.
“Do you think—” he begins before the lights inside the elevator flicker on.
We startle and straighten.
“Still hanging in there?” the voice calls. “You’ll be out shortly.”
6
CALEB
With the lights on everything feels too real. The sticky t-shirt in my hand, the heat in my cheeks, the uncomfortable knot forming in my stomach. Not regret, but something more like longing. I want to know this man. Graham. Beyond the hurried kisses and hidden hand jobs.
“Shit,” I whisper as it all hits me. I’m scared. I’m worried I’m going to ruin this, and judging by the look on Graham’s face, I just did.
He backs away and forces a smile as he quickly bends down to gather his clothes. Cool air starts to pour into the small space through the vents on the ceiling, and instead of relief, I miss the sweltering heat. Goosebumps cover my arms and fill my chest with a familiar emptiness.
The elevator jumps and Graham grabs the rail with a small yelp that is adorable as hell.
“Sorry about that,” the man calls through the crack of the door. “We got the generator up and running. Just give me—”
The doors slam shut before he can finish his sentence and the elevator jerks again.
With my heart in my throat, I stare as Graham quickly throws himself together.
“I…” He laughs and shakes his head as he fumbles with the buttons on his shirt.
I can’t help my silence as I watch him. God, I want to be in a hotel room with him. I want to be his date to this wedding. I want to be the guy who gets to help him get dressed and straighten his bowtie.
“I guess this is it?” he asks, and I try to answer him, but everything I want to say is still stuck inside my chest, wrapped tightly with years of fear and hiding. “This was fun. You should… let yourself be happy, Caleb. Every now and then.”
The smile he gives me is sweet and brilliant and it loosens my tongue. Under the bright lights it’s hard to form a coherent response, but my confusion and panic fades as Graham’s eyes fall to my mouth, and I find courage in the memory of his kiss.
“I wish things were different. I want…” I rub the back of my neck and choke out a humorless laugh. “I don’t know.”
“Let’s not make this awkward, yeah? We had a weird, yet eventful and sexy experience. It all feels very… Vegas.”
“Very Vegas.” I take a small chance and straighten his bowtie, granting myself another wish. His breath hitches as he meets my gaze. Graham looks put together in his suit, but the flush in his cheeks lingers, the messy, misplaced strands of his hair fall over his forehead, and the slight burn on his chin from my stubble, all of it, evidence we’ve left behind. I’ve left a mark, and something inside me has shifted. I can’t take it back. The parts of myself that I’ve hidden, that flame I’ve kept extinguished tears through me like a wildfire burning my senses in its wake. “What if I don’t want this to be it?”
“Caleb.” Graham raises his hands, resting his palms on my bare chest, sending a shiver down my spine. I should pull away. The door could open any second. I didn’t even have a shirt on, for Christ’s sake. But I can’t make myself move. “It doesn’t have to be.”