Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 115468 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 577(@200wpm)___ 462(@250wpm)___ 385(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115468 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 577(@200wpm)___ 462(@250wpm)___ 385(@300wpm)
“Maybe you owe it to yourself to be honest about what you want,” she said softly. “You deserve to be happy too.”
But I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t. Because that would mean disappointing everyone who loved me. It would mean halting plans already in motion. It would mean ruining lives. Didn’t she understand that?
She sighed. “Duty calls.”
“What about you?” I demanded. “What about your mission to do your duty by Romeo? The duty you imposed on yourself? Should I tell you to toss that aside? That it shouldn’t matter? Or what about Romeo? Should he have gone after his dreams and left you to fend for yourself at eleven years old? Duty is important, Rory. It’s necessary.”
She winced and dropped down on the chair. “I’m sorry. I’m being unfair.” She let out a sigh and my exasperation dwindled and then died. Truthfully, I wanted to fall down on my knees before her and beg her to soothe me again, to help me breathe, to stop the incessant spinning. “Anyway, like I said, my time here is up.”
“But there’s still one more man,” I said. “One more man who could be your father.”
“It doesn’t matter. It wasn’t meant to be.”
My heart ached. Being with her, holding her and being held had lessened the torment inside for a while, but maybe it’d only prolonged the inevitable pain of letting her go. I pulled on my clothes. “Will you come to my going-away party?” I asked, wincing after the words had slipped from my lips. The invitation sounded ridiculous and desperate. The last thing I wanted right now was a fucking party and seeing her there would just add to the anguish.
She shook her head, her expression sorrowful as though she was thinking the same things I was. “No,” she said. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
We stared at each other, the realization that this was goodbye hanging between us. I let out a breath, looking away and Rory stood, moving quickly toward me. We wrapped our arms around each other and for several moments we simply stood there, holding tight. “I didn’t come here tonight to say goodbye,” I said.
When she stepped back, there were tears in her eyes. “I know. But…it’s for the best. We both know that. Thank you for everything, Ivy League.”
No no no. But what did I have to offer her? Zoom “dates” as my schedule and the time difference allowed? A weekend here and there? A holiday? That wasn’t fair to either of us.
I gripped her beautiful face in my hands, my gaze running over her features, memorizing the details of her, both hoping they’d fade and desperately needing them to stay fresh. “If you ever need anything…some poetry on the fly or…”
She let out a soggy laugh. “And if you ever need anything…dart lessons or…”
My heart and my stomach clenched. And to prolong this one more minute was going to kill me. I let go of her face. “Goodbye,” I said, turning and walking out of her room. I heard her repeat the word in a whisper as I made my way through Faith’s house, and finally, out the front door, her broken voice echoing in my mind.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Rory
The sun was shining but I still felt like I was walking through fog. The only thing keeping me grounded were the three pups strolling jauntily in front of me, pulling me along. Despite the pain emanating under my skin as I glanced at the places where I had such recent memories with Gage, I couldn’t help thinking about how I loved this town, specifically here, by the park and the lake. Something about this place had started feeling like home in the last couple of weeks. The pull I’d felt all my life had been answered…here. But I didn’t know if that was because of the place, or the person I’d ridiculously fallen in love with. God, I ached. I already missed him so much I was honestly considering calling him and begging him to spend the last final hours here with me.
Even though I knew it would just end up hurting all that much more if I did.
There was a restaurant with a cute patio up ahead named The Strand and I looked for Faith who’d asked me to meet her for lunch. I spotted her by the short, wrought iron gate, waving me over. “Hey,” I said as I tied the dogs to the gate and took a seat next to them.
“Hi, honey. How are you doing?”
“Oh,” I sighed, “okay.” I’d already told Faith about how Gage and I had said goodbye, and how much it had hurt.
She reached out and patted my hand. “It’ll get better.”
Mrs. Bellamy’s housekeeper Marta’s dalmatian put her head in my lap and looked up at me with empathetic eyes. “I know,” I told Faith as I pet Roxy’s head, drawing as much comfort from my friend’s words as from the silent support of this sweet pup. The other two, Bartholomew and Mrs. Ramsbottom’s cocker spaniel Elwood, lay at my feet as though they sensed I needed the closeness as well.